#and yet!!! i have zero time like i did back then... ughhhh

[clowningaroundmars]

"hey mars how's that sketch page and those 2 fic ideas you're currently working on?"

ganke voice: oh y'know. theyre... marinating.

[karshown]

s'kuna . - sfw & light nsfw - jjk

mention of: sharpened objects such as nails, slightly mean remarks by sukuna, small swearing.

SUKUNA had an odd way of showing affection, or asking to merely feel your touch, just the feeling of your skin beneath his finger pads. Just the feeling of his long nails lightly grazing your soft, plush skin.

Sukuna in general was just odd, he swore up and DOWN that he had zero to no serious feelings regarding your wellbeing, but even the smallest injury ruining your even skin, drove him mentally crazy. Insane even.

So when you were laid under Sukuna, breathing gently onto his bare chest, he couldn't help but feel his heart tug. Something he wasn't used to, something he had no words to describe but it happened everytime you came around.

Every. Single. Time.

He refused to imagine himself loving someone who purely wasn't him, who wasn't Sukuna Ryomen. The sight of you being so close to his half naked body was enough to make him want to love you..? maybe even.. cherish you?

You were so innocently unaware of the evil power the man that laid just a few centimeters from your unconscious body possessed. Or it was more like you didn't bother to care, you loved Sukuna and that was that.

Sukuna directed his attention to the TV, completely pushing any feelings that he had towards you aside and locked away. The slight nudge of your nose nuzzling its way into the solid wall (Sukunas chest) in front of you caused his body to jerk back, he cursed at himself for almost waking you up with that minor movement.

Sukuna couldn't help but stare, did he have feelings or was it just a mini hoax. Or was he solely delusional.

"Are you blushing?" Your voice startled him, he had barely noticed that you were slowly waking up by the minute, his immediate reaction was to deny all false accusations, if not proven it simply wasn't true.

"Of course not, this sight disgusts me!" You never took Sukunas words to heart, you and him both knew that he wanted to have every inch of you.

"Whatever, hold me."

"Mm no,"

"Fine you don't love me, I get it.." thats what you said everytime he didn't do something small, yet he listened everytime & truly deep down believed that you assumed that. Which left a peircing feeling in his chest, everytime.

Moments after you felt two overly long arms wrap around your smaller frame, pulling you close, too close. You were barely able to let out a few huffs as Sukuna tightened his grip around you, he made sure you understood you were more than important to him, you were his everything, & without you he was nothing.

A nobody, a zero.

"Okay okay, I get it!" even that didn't force him to loosen his grasp, you were losing consciousness by the second.

"S'kuna!" you began to beat on his chest with your balled-up fist repeatedly, until he finally released your body, you huffed and puffed as you sat up. The sight of you trying to compose yourself excited him, especially with you sitting on his lap, legs spread as your finger tips lightly grazed his light happytrail, he was about to go feral. You threw your head back, barely focused on what Sukuna was planning on doing.

You didn't care, you almost died, well thats an exaggeration but regardless your life flashed before your eyes all because he wanted to prove that he loved you deep down, down to the veins on his dick. You were startled by the feeling of Sukuna snaking his fingers around your thick, plump thighs. He dug his claws into your skin, not enough to draw blood but enough to lightly sting.

You decided to play dumb, you tilted your head to the side as you raised a brow.

"You know what I want, don't play fucking dumb."

"Well, use your words?"

"Ughhhh, I don't feel like it." Sukuna pouted, as you let out a sigh, finally giving in as he silently whispered "victory" to himself.

[never-not-ever]

I spontaneously texted my Nana asking if she wanted to go get dinner tonight and that I'd bring cards and we could play a few rounds. We used to always play games when she'd come visit me inpatient and since I've been out we played once in my apartment, once upstairs in her place and then once at Panera. We're going to this quiet little Italian place so maybe it'll be nice. Plus I need to catch her up on things that may be happening this week.

When I told her I had an appointment today she mentioned me trying to not make appointments on Sundays. Then she was clarifying the other days of the week I had appointments and mentioned how she was going to go to her sisters at some point this week and stay a few nights. So that's when I mentioned grabbing dinner and we could talk then.

Therapy was strange. Before I get into the strangeness, I did mention the Sunday thing and she said I could see her virtually on Sundays since I still see her in person on Wednesdays so that's good. But the strangeness... I don't know if it's an anxiety med or if she's high but I could tell she was definitely "on something". I think I've only seen her like less than 10 times in person so far but the way she looked today was the same as how she looked during my first in person appointment with her and I freaked out back then because I felt like there was zero connection. It's weird cause I don't notice this when it's a virtual appointment. Her in person appointments have gotten easier but it's still weird.

It helps that I don't maintain eye contact for the majority of the appointment so it's easy to not be reminded of how she looks. She's also very braggy and I don't like it. "Well you have me on your team so..." like if I say something hopeless about getting better and my future she always reminds me that she's a part of my team now. If things didn't work out in the past, "well this time you have me". It's only been a few months, and I don't know her well enough and vice versa for her to be so full of herself regarding my recovery. It'd be one thing if she said it once and that was it. In fact I probably didn't think anything of it the first time but the more she says it the more uncomfortable it makes me.

She asked about the self harm and if it happened since I saw her last and I said once. So I saw her on Wednesday and during that session I told her how it hasn't happened the last few days and she was all thumbs up and "that's amazing... blah blah blah" and I hate that. So then today, on Sunday, me saying it happened once since Wednesday and she was once again all excited and at one point said "I can see how hard you're working, I want you to know I can see that". And I wanted to look at her and laugh because lady I'm not doing shit. The urges just weren't there and I've been so exhausted lately and sleeping a lot. I'm not doing any "hard work". Doing hard work would be if I had urges every single day since Wednesday but pushed through and used skills but that's not what happened.

I guess I'm just being reminded more that she really doesn't understand me yet. I feel like my program therapist at partial understood me more than this lady does and I've seen this therapist a lot more.

Ughhhh time to end this ranty post.

[atreefox]

GENLOSS GENLOSS GENLOSS GENLOSS GENLOSS OML GUYS WERE SO BACK OML

OKAY, RANDOM THOUGHTS BUT WHAT IF THAT DOOR (despite there being physical noises of movement) REPRESENTS SOME BARRIER, SOME SYMBOLIC SHIT THAY IS THIS PERSON TRYING TO GET PAST. MAYBE ON THING THEYRE TALKING ABOUT IS BASICALLY REVIVAL/RESURRECTION (e.g gl!Ranboo dying, Charlie somehow still alive without bleeding profusely (was he aware of what was going on when Ranboo was tearing into him??) during his “surgery”, the replay of gen 1 thousands of times (debatable, but I think that the cast constantly re did to get it perfect, who knows maybe Genloss Ranboo never actually died, jk)

I do think showfall has the means of revival/resurrection, especially with how violent gen 1 was and yet the cast was somehow alive.

Okay that was a random tangent, but getting on the main track, I was gonna get at how the differences between Hetch and this mysterious guy is.

While there are some similarities (e.g, Hetch having control of the abandoned mall and access to Showfall’s technology, and this person being able to break through whatever barriers Showfall put up for any censoring, to name at least one right now) I feel like there are some major differences.

For example, Ran said, or something along the lines of it, that in the founders cut, Hetch lines were redone to make sound more uncanny. Even before the founders cut, Hetch, especially with in episode three, sounded really off to me. He was constantly dismissive and what I felt like was easily angered with gl!Ranboo’s valid questions. Hetch had final goal, and I feel like that influenced his actions and overall tone in The story.

Yet for this person, at least right now, seems more human. Showfall desensitizes its cast to seem more as character tropes than actual people (e.g, the carasoul of death and the streamers presented in episode three). Yet this person directly talks to us, and even admits that they don’t have to the full tools to do what they wanna do (I think??), yet they say they want stop whatever is coming (time stamp 1:16, I think the blotted text says “there is something coming. The connection has gotten stronger”), that they have to stop this. They’re unsure of who they’re talking to or where we are, but they seem genuine in what they wanna achieve. Unlike Hetch, this person seems human.

Maybe it’s Jay? I think Miss Roads, or Zero, is considered generation 0, and due to her diary in X, she seeemd close to someone named Jay. Just a wild guess.

There’s some connection that has affected fhis person, they don’t know what it is, or what it’s for, but this person seems dead set on stopping it.

OML OM SO EXCITED UGHHHH😭😭

[llrose-angelll]

Like a Love Song

This is a fan made Trollstopia episode with Rose as the main focus!!

———————————————————————

the day begins with Rose in bed

she was starring into space

then a loud knock banged at the door

Laguna: Rose? It’s me Laguna! You wanna study?

Laguna: Make a life breaking discovery?

Rose log rolls off the bed

she stands up again and makes the most awake face she possibly can make

she opens the door

Rose: Okay sure!

Short skip to when they were at Lagunas place studying

Rose: So what are we studying exactly?

Laguna: I don’t know...

She throws the book she had

Laguna: so what do you wanna talk about?

Synth was conveniently outside Lagunas window talking to Branch

Rose: ...

Laguna: Rose?

Laguna: Are you looking at Synth?

Rose: WHAT?! NO I DON’T!! STOP ASKING!!!

Laguna: 😐

Rose: I’m just...uh...

She gets distracted again because Synth looks her way and waves

She smiles some and waves back

Laguna: do you..?

Rose: maybe okay?

Laguna: *gasp* aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww~!

Laguna: Roooooooooooosssse!

Rose: 😒

Laguna: did you tell him?

Rose: of course-

Laguna: What’d he say?

Rose: not

Laguna: WHAT?! WHY?!

Rose: well uh...I don’t know if he feels the same.

Laguna: ooohhhhh I see. You wanna impress him!

Rose: yeah...

Laguna: I don’t think it’ll take a lot to do that. Synth’s a nice guy.

Rose: okay. What do you want me to do?

Laguna: don’t worry Rose! I have the perfect plan!

At the door to Synths house

Rose is standing with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate hearts.

Rose: I don’t know about this, Laguna. It seems really...Stereotypical...

Laguna: I’m sure that’ll get Synth to like you!

Rose rings the doorbell

Rose: you owe me big time if he...

Laguna was gone

Synth then opens the door

Synth: oh! Rose! A...Are those for me?

Rose: A...Eh...yeh...

Synth grabs the flowers and chocolate and puts them aside

Synth: uh...Thanks?

Rose: yeh...

Synth closes the door

Laguna: WHAT IN THE NAME OF MITOCHONDRIA WAS THAT?!

Rose: My mentality stalling

It zooms into her head showing her brain failing to start up a motor. when the motor starts up again her brain flips the “days without stalling” sign to zero.

Laguna: okay you obviously need some confidence

Laguna: and I know just the troll who can help us!

It cuts to Val

Val: No I’m not giving you romantic advise...

Rose: Please! I’ll never get his attention without you!

Val: who are you even talking about?

Rose: Uh...Eh...

Poppy: Who is it Val?

Poppy: Oh hey Rose what’s the issue?

Val: She’s got a crush on some boy and she wants me to give her romantic advise

Poppy: who is it?

Val: that’s what we haven’t got to yet...She’s sitting here STALLING instead of ANSWERING ME!

Rose: It’s Synth okay?!

Rose covers her mouth

Poppy: Awww!

Val: Ewww!

Poppy: I know exactly how you can get him to like you back.

Poppy set up a council meeting the very next day

Rose: Poppy! Why did you call all of the ambassadors?

Poppy: Because Synth is a ambassador! you can confess here!

Rose: But wouldn’t that be wasting all of the other council’s time?! 

Poppy: Don’t worry! I told all of them about how you feel!

Rose and Laguna facepalm at the same time.

everyone arrives but Synth

Poppy: great! Everyone's here!

Dante: So, Rosanne...

Rose: you can just call me Rose you know that right.

Dante: Yes yes I know..

Dante: I see you have feelings for a certain someone?

Rose: Ughhhh...Yes...

Dante: and you don’t know how to tell him?

Rose: *sighs* No...

Holly: Well don’t you worry your absolutely adorable head off Rosie! 

Rose: Rose

Holly: Yeah yeah what ever...We got this!

Synth finally arrives

Poppy: Oh Synth! It seems that all of the seats are taken! Except, this one...Right next to Rose...?

Synth: That ones free...

He points to a chair next to Val. Val immediately picks the chair up and yeets it out the window. it lands on Smidge

Smidge: I’M OKAY!

Synth: Ok...

Synth sits next to Rose

Poppy: So I called you guys here to talk about...Romance...

Rose: *whispers in Poppys ear* Where are you going with this

Poppy: *Whispers back* All of the talk about romance will heat him up and then you’ll confess! 

Rose: *whispers* I don't think that's how it works...

Synth: Why Romance? 

Poppy: Uh...When is the Techno mating season?

Synth: Summer...It just started...Why?

Poppy rambles on for 10 minutes about uniting all mating seasons to be during summer.

Poppy’s plan seemed to be working. So Rose decided to confess.

Rose: Psst..Hey...

Synth seemed to be focussed on Poppy

Val: *whispers* Tap his shoulder!

Rose: *Gulps* O..Okay...

Rose taps Synths shoulder and he turns to her

Rose: Synth...I have to tell you something...

Synth: Yess?

Rose: It sorta relates to what Poppy’s talking about...

Synth: Yesss~?

Rose: I...I..L..Lo...

It zooms into Roses mind. Her brain was struggling with the controls while there was an alarm yelling “Synth Alert!” The brain was repeatedly pressing the confess button but it wouldn’t work.

Rose: I...Lo..L..

Val: Get on with it!

Rose: I...Uh...I Lo...

Synth:  You Love..?

Rose faints

Poppy: AH! ROSE!

Dante: ROSANNE!

Holly: ROSIE!

Rose: I...ts....Rose!

A few hours later Rose wakes up

Synth: Is she gonna be okay?

Poppy: yeah I’m sure of it

Rose: What happened

Synth: I don’t know, you we’re gonna tell me something and you just passed out...

Synth: Do you still remember what you wanted to tell me?

Rose passes out again. This time when she wakes up Synth was gone.

Rose: Where’s Synth?

Poppy: We told him branch needed him...

Rose: Uggghhhh! WHY COULDN’T I TELL HIM?! THAT COULD’VE BEEN MY ONLY CHANCE.

Dante: Nonsense! I have a trick up my sleeve!

Rose: Your gonna set up a date at that fancy restaurant aren’t you?

Dante: Of course! What else?

Rose:  O...Okay then...Yeeey.

At Dante's Restaurant, Synth was sitting next to Rose. They we’re both silent.

Dante: I set up neon lights around their table to set a good... “tech” mood as they say.

Laguna: Nobody says that...

Synth: So...Rose...You invited me here for a reason I’m guessing...

Rose: Yeah uh...There’s something I need to tell you...But I’ll save it for after we eat

the food arrives

Rose: Look! Food!

Synth: You seem unsure about something...You okay girl?

Rose: Yeah I’m fine!

Synth intriguingly puts his head on his fist

Synth: Yeah alright...

he had a disapproving tone.

Synth: I’m gonna...Use the restroom...

Synth got up and walked away

Laguna: psst! Rose!

Rose turns around to see Laguna and Dante hiding in a bush. 

Laguna: Amps don't like it when you lie to them!

Rose: Amps??

Laguna: *sighs* Male techno trolls! they don’t like it when females lie to them! they’ll think they cant trust them!

Rose: Why did I not know that! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! *she knocks her head three times*

Synth returns and they finish their meal.

Rose: So Synth...I’ve been meaning to tell you something...

Synth: Actually...I think I’ll just go..

Rose: W...Why?

Synth: I just dont like the aura we have around each other...It’s really...Awkward...

Rose: I swear that’s just me...I sorta cant help it

Synth makes a disgusted face.

Laguna face palms

Synth: I’m just gonna go...

Synth leaves the restaurant and Rose rests her head on the table. 

Laguna: Okay that went horribly...

Rose: You think???

Dante: I’m afraid I can’t help you...But I do know someone who could...

Dante winks

Laguna: Oh yeah! Someone who knows who Synth is inside and out!

Dante: Someone who’s been freinds with him for a long time...

Laguna: Someone...Who’s gone through the same thing Rose is going through right now!

Rose: Poppy?

Laguna and Dante: No! Branch!

Rose: That’s right! He’s Synth’s best friend!

the next day Rose comes to Branch’s bunker

Branch: Who is it? Oh. Rose?

Rose: Hi...

Branch: What’s up...We haven’t talked in a while.

Rose: I actually need your help...You know Synth right?

Branch: Is that even a question?! He’s my best bud!

Rose: Great! Do you know how I could get him to like me?

Branch’s eyes went wide

Branch: Woah...I said i was his friend not his dad!

Rose: Please Branch! You’re my last bet!

Branch: Did you confess?

Rose: No

Branch: then i dont know how to help you, if you want Synth to like you then you should just tell him

Rose: I have nowhere near the confidence to do that!

Branch: Alright then...If i know Synth I really think you can just hang out with him.

Synth arrives behind Rose

Branch: Speaking of! here he is!

Synth: What’s she doing here? Emergency?

Branch: She wants to hang out with us

Synth: Huh..? O...Okay…Then..

Branch walked into the bunker but before Rose could enter Synth grabbed her arm

Synth: Rose listen, I’ve been passing by and stuff like…you know I just see you sometimes around the lagoon or somewhere up here and…You’re a really social girl, nice to, so…Could you please be that nice and social girl instead of…

Rose: The way I was at the da- dinner?

Synth: Hol’ up we’re you about to say date?

Rose: No…

Synth scowls and Rose remembers what Laguna told her.

Rose: I mean…Yeah it was just a slip of words…Sorry!

Rose began to push away the awkward behavior she had and began to show her true personality.

Synth: that right there…Is why I like you…

Synth smiles

Rose: Like uh…Like like?

Synth’s eyes go a bit wide.

Synth: I mean…If you want…

Rose: Uh- N...No thanks…

Synth: Oh uh…Right…

They both walk into the bunker.

The day was filled with bonding and the day finally finished off with a rave

Branch began to think this was a good time to confess.

Branch: Hey Synth.

Synth: Yeah?

Branch: Rose has something she wants to tell you.

Rose: No I don’t-

Branch: *whispers* She really likes you!

Rose: What?

Branch: *whispers* She’s in love with you!

Synth: She is???

Rose: NO! I DON’T LOVE SYNTH AND I NEVER WILL LOVE HIM!!

Synths heart shatters.

Rose realizes her mistake.

Rose: Synth I…It was a slip of words

Synth: No no…*sniff* I think you we’re clear…

Rose: I-

Synth: Crystal…Clear

Synth leaves the rave early and the crowd glares at Rose.

Branch: Real smooth…

Branch had his hand in his face

After the rave ended Rose ran out of the water and to a lonely hill. She balled up, she didn’t even feel like howling she was so sad.

Rose: Why would I say something like that…

Rose: I’m such a coward…and a jerk…and a-

Synth: You’re not all those things…

Rose: Synth?

Synth sits beside her. Rose blushes and avoids eye contact.

Synth: Rose…Listen…I like you…I really do…I…I don’t wanna hear you saying stuff like that about yourself…

Rose: It doesn’t matter if it’s true…

Synth: But it isn’t.

Synth: You’re kind, caring, curious, and absolutely adorable!

Rose blushes some more.

Synth: And even if you don’t like me…The guy you do like…Is awfully lucky…

Synth looks down. Rose has the compelling urge to comfort him

Rose puts her arm out to wrap around him. She slowly builds the courage and gently pulls him closely.

Synth: What are you doing?

Rose: Synth…Listen…I…I didn’t mean a word of what I said back there. I would never say such a thing, I…really…Would do nothing but give you all the affection and love you want cause…I love you…

Synths eyes went wide

Synth: I…I thought you said…

Synth looks down for a moment

Synth: I love you to Rose…

He smiles

They close up and close their eyes preparing for a kiss

Branch: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

Synth and Rose scream and back away.

Synth: DUBSTEP YOU DANG NEAR GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!

Rose: YEAH WHAT DO YOU WANT???

Branch: I thought Rose needed some help but I see you two got yourselves wrapped up!

Synth: Like a gift…

He smiles back at Rose.

Rose: I think…I was relying on everyone else to the point where…I didn’t know how to deal with Synth…Independently…

Synth: Heh…Either way…You got me…

Branch: Uh…Yeah cool imma go now…

Branch leaves

Synth: So…What do you wanna do now?

Rose: Kiss..? Maybe..? Of course that’s if you want im not forcing you or anythi-

Synth grabs Rose and kisses her then backs away.

Rose: I see you…Wanted to…

Synth giggles and they both turn back to the moon. Synth then leans on Rose’s shoulder.

The end!

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline�� trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

The Missing Songbird

Warnings: Remus being himself, swearing (it’s me. It’ll be colorful), drunken behavior, implied drug use

Characters/relationships: Patton, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Remy, Logan, Dr. Picani (familial Moxiety, Romantic Prinxiety, background Patton x Remy for which I can’t find the name for, Intrulogical)

Roman Patch dreamed of the day he’d meet his soulmate. The man had the most beautiful deep voice, and it was worthy of praises. Virgil Picani was not so sure. His older brother Patton and Dad insisted that he’d be grateful when found his soulmate. They had already found their own, so Vee was skeptical and believed they had a bias (Heh. Logan would be proud of him. Not that he had a say either, having found Remus a number of years earlier. Their relationship had grown with them and it was cute). 

Not that the world cared throwing Roman in his path the moment he walked into school. It was his first day in high school. The entirety of freshman year he nursed a crush. On his first day sophomore year, he met Roman’s eyes. For the first time he could see color, and his crush only got worse. That day he was so glad and his father took him out to his favorite restaurant. Nothing came of it, and he watched from afar as Roman dated, acted, and gained more and more popularity. The few times they interacted, Virgil snapped at the handsome man. The two became enemies and avoided each other. 

And so began their Junior year. 

Roman strutted down the hall. He was basically a school celebrity and everyone knew it. Other than the kids his brother hung out with, including that Virgil who he hated, everyone greeted him enthusiastically. He smiled as he saw his football player brother, talking with his soulmate and Virgil. 

“-Pat’s working hard on his vet degree. He’s already excelling in his classes. He finally found ones that teach in his style, and it’s great. Rem’s been real supportive too-” Virgil was leaning against the locker next to Logan, a small smile on his face. 

“Hey Stinker and Co!” Roman called, interrupting the rest of the quiet conversation. 

“C’mon Ro! I just saw you. Can’t I kiss my boyfriend in peace?” Remus whined, snapping his gum and looping an arm around the smaller kid. Said boyfriend adjusted his glasses, glancing towards the other kid, who had shrank into a more defensive pose at the noise. 

“....I’m going to class. See ya later Lo, Re” Virgil mumbled after a few seconds of brotherly glaring, pushing off the locker. He flipped his hood up and ducked into the stream of kids heading that way. He vanished quickly, having learned his routes by heart over the summer. 

“Why did you have to do that! He was just telling us about Patton! Y’know the guy you crushed on for 3 years?!” Remus nearly shouted, his eyes narrowed. 

“Whatever. I should follow Jack Smellington’s example and go to class” Roman walked away, a storm cloud hanging over his head. He was just having some fun! Now he was in a bad mood and the day had just begun. He threw his bag down in his study hall. Before the period was halfway over, he had gotten a group listening to his summer adventures and what he was planning for the school year. He left with a bounce in his step again, his soulmate had also been humming! His excitement was quickly shut down when he walked into his history class.

“I’m stuck next to him?” His mouth fell open in surprise as he saw the seating arrangement. At a desk near the back his name was paired with his arch-nemesis's, well more like annoyance but that didn’t sound as cool, Virgil Picani. The boy was already there, scribbling on the warm-up, and his purple bangs were falling in his eyes in the most adorable way. Roman shook his head to clear it of the rebellious thoughts. Instead, he focused on the quiet humming in his head from his soulmate. 

“Guess we’re stuck with each other emo nightmare-” the humming abruptly stopped, but it must have been from the bell ringing “-So I better not get your sass the whole time” 

“Don’t you worry your royal ass, I won’t say much” Virgil hissed, turning his seat slightly away. That period stretched on and on as the pair did their best to act like the other wasn’t there. Roman was grateful to escape to 3rd block, and lunch afterwards. He was disappointed when the humming didn’t return, but it couldn’t get him down. The school was serving the good mac and cheese, and he raced to get in line. As he was looking for a place to sit down, he heard part of a conversation.

“-How am I supposed to get through this? He acts like I’m the worst...the world” Roman moved closer, choosing to sit with some of the other theater kids at a table near the voice. It was Virgil of course, but he wouldn’t admit that he was actually interested. 

“Are you sure it’s him?” Logan was asking, his voice curious.

“Yea Lo, The world exploded in color the moment I met his eyes” Roman’s heart sank at that. He didn’t even like the guy! “-a year ago. I just wish I hadn’t panicked and drove him away”

“If he’s truly the one, things will work out. It’s statistically improbable that it won’t” 

“Yea! Logie is right” Remus chimed in, and his mouth must have been full of food the idiot. 

“Thanks you guys. I need to get going. My art class is kinda far, and I don’t want to get stuck in the crowd” There was a chorus of goodbyes. 

If he hated Virgil, why did it feel like Roman’s heart left with him every time they weren’t in the same room?

The next few months went by in a blur. Virgil and Roman avoided each other as much as possible. They shared half of their classes though, but they barely spoke. Roman sat within earshot whenever he could, and he had better ears than most so it was further than you’d think. He caught Vee, Virgil stupid brain talking with the music teacher after the play practice yet another place they were together for. Virgil was in charge of the lights, while Roman was the lead actor. 

“You sure you want to do this VP?” Mr. Sanders asked. 

“Yea. I think I can do it. Besides, it’s just those of us in the production. I can handle it, and my father has been bothering me for weeks to do it. Pat’s coming home too, so it’d be nice” Virgil shrugged, the small smile Roman kept seeking on his lips.

“Alright. So, you’ll be ready tomorrow?” 

“Yup! See you tomorrow” Virgil called as he raced out the door. Mr. Sanders smiled before he clapped his hands together to gather all the kids to him.

“Alright you guys! We have been invited to a pre-production party. I’ll text you all the address, and I hope you guys can come. It’ll start at 4 o’clock, and wear something fun but appropriate. You can all head home now”

“Sure you can do this VeeVee?” Remus was sprawled across the couch, while Roman stood awkwardly in the entrance to the living room.

“Dad’s the one throwing the party. And the moment I say I’ve had too much, Remy and Pat will take over hosting” Virgil shrugged, lounging next to him upside down. 

“They’re here Verge of Greatness” Remy called as the doorbell rang. 

“Let’s get this party started” Roman smiled, bowing to the host. Virgil rolled his eyes, hissing an insult as he began his duties. The group arrived fairly quickly, reaching close to 100 within half an hour. At first, everything was good. Roman, of course, took over Virgil’s social duties unintentionally. That left the purple haired kid to hang out with his friends and chat with his brother. 

“Songbird” A voice called over the crowd, slightly slurred from the snuck in alcohol. Virgil immediately stopped humming along to the music. The voice continued, getting louder and louder. 

“Sing ferrrr us Vergil” Roman appeared from the crowd finally, zeroing on the host.

“Fuckin, Remus, you didn’t tell me your brother was a lightweight” Virgil hissed to the twin that wasn’t drunk.

“How was I suppose to know? Need me to get you out?” Remus whispered back, glancing between his small friend and his brother. 

“Fuck yea. Lo find my brother. Re, just,,, fucking help” The pair nodded, Remus stepping in front of his brother and Logan disappearing into the crowd. Virgil darted into the crowd and ran into his room. He closed the door and sank to the floor. He remained there until the sounds faded downstairs. A hesitant knock came from his door. 

“Dad?” He raised his head, rubbing his face.

“No. It’s...it’s Roman. I wanted to apologize. I’m not drunk anymore. It...Rob gave it to me and I don’t know what it was, but Patton had to treat me. It was not pretty”

“Why. Why did you go to me?” Virgil asked after a second. 

“....I’ve had a crush on you for...I don’t know how long. He said whatever it was would boost my confidence. I guess it did, but it was harmful to you” Roman chuckled nervously. 

“Look. I don’t know if I can trust you, but I guess I can’t keep this from you forever. You’re my soulmate” Virgil rested his head against the door again, closing his eyes again. He held back tears at the hopeful voice from the other side of the door.

“Really? Then I’m doubly sorry. I...I’m going now. See you at school on Monday. Don’t forget, our lab is due then” The house went silent. 

It took a few months until Roman could look Virgil in the eyes. He’d moved to sit with his brother at their table at the opposite end. He wanted to give Virgil space but his heart couldn’t be denied anymore. The change happened in science class.

“Want to be my date to prom?” Virgil nudged Roman, offering a hand. With a smile, he took it and nodded. 

“Nothing would give me more pleasure my knight in shining armor” 

“ughhhh that’s so cheesy shut up” 

“Ma-” Before Roman could finish his taunt, Virgil kissed him. That solved that problem. 

Maybe the rest of the year may turn out better than either of them thought.

[taechasu]

Get To Know Me Tag!

I was tagged by @captainmeow-and-chairmanknots. Thank youuuu (you’re now officially defined as my fave tagging mutual on here haha).

Name: Tina

Nicknames: Tina? idk haha

Gender: female

Zodiac: Leo

Height: 165cm

Time: 19:27

Favourite musicians: (since this is a kpop blog i’m only gonna mention my fave kpop groups) Monsta X, BTS, EXO. Honourable mentions: Super Junior, BigBang and Day6.

Song stuck in my head: Touch - NCT 127 (I don’t even listen to them but I heard it in some video and I can’t get it out of my head)

Last thing I googled: NCT touch (’cause I wasn’t sure which NCT unit sings the song haha)

Last movie I saw: Grinch (great movie haha)

Last song I listened to: Like We Used To - The Rose

Other blogs: I have four blogs in total, out of these four, two are side-blogs. The main main blog is another fandom blog (not kpop), one of the side blogs is a study blog and the other one is a shitpost zero fandoms blog (@litisadastra). 

Do I get asks: Not on this blog.. not yet at least. It’s still pretty new.

Why did I chose my username: Tae-Cha-Su are the first letters of my favourite idols. Tae-hyung, Cha-nyeol, Su-ho. 

Following: how many I’m following? a lot idk. somewhere in the hundreds.

Amount of sleep I get: not. enough. a masters student = no sleep.

Lucky numbers: 7 maybe?

What I’m wearing: oversized purple sweater and black jeans

Dream job: don’t know yet. the jury's still out on that one

Dream trips: I’ve been there before but I want to go back- Scotland (but the whole brexit thing is messing with my plans ughhhh.)

Favourite food: I like things with lots of vegetables. that’s all I need. i’m not really picky hah.

Instruments: I’m trying to learn the guitar but it’s not really working so far haha

Favourite songs:

I Loved You - Day6

Forever - EXO

Save Me - BTS

Lost in the Dream - Monsta X

Relationship status: single pringle

Favourite colors: black

Three books: god I don’t know where to begin... Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe- Benjamin Alire Sáenz; Sea Swept- Nora Roberts; Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen (the classic).

Three TV shows: Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother and Prison Break (my comfort shows. well.. at least the first two. the last one is too stressful to be comforting haha)

Book I’m reading now: I just finished one yesterday, but I haven’t started with the new one yet (and I won’t for a while since the exam weeks are starting at my uni soon)

How many blankets do you sleep in: 1

Anything I want: to successfully finish this semester and then just sleep for like a week.

I tag: @kingparkjinyoung, @montothebebee, @unnie-uwu, @snapback-yoongi and @imwonhope. 

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Thoughts On Tales of Berseria

Soooooooo this is a very long overdue post (like a month late lol), but my health was in a meh state for a long time pretty much starting with when I first beat the game and technically still isn’t over yet but it’s bearable now so so that killed a lot of my motivation to do... much of anything, so here we are now. I also rewatched a good portion of the game while my friend was playing it for the first time and that helped me figure out my thoughts on it better (while talking with her about it).

I want to clarify that despite the... kind of negative tone of this analysis, I still really enjoyed Berseria. After all, it is a Tales game, and I love Tales, and there isn’t a single one I outright dislike. This also contains some spoilers for Tales of Zestiria, as the distant sequel to Berseria and a game that is very important to me as one of my favorite Tales so yeah, just a warning, I love Zestiria, and that’s gonna be prevalent here some.

Spoilers below. Also this is incredibly long, I am so sorry; if you read it all you deserve a medal, as usual:

This will mostly just be a collection of random points, not organized really in any particular way:

Burn is a badass opening. Fucking love it, and the animation with it; watched it every time, as expected.

I really enjoyed Berseria’s battle system; normally I’m not one to really scrutinize how good a gameplay system is or isn’t because I’m not actually good at playing lmao but I liked the soul system, and the break souls, and how you can do an epic chain of mystic artes together in a row <333 also Eizen’s dragon MA is just rude, okay.

The weapon upgrading system is so much easier and less confusing compared to Zestiria’s; thank fucking god

The cameo character side quest in this game is just... what the fuck, Bamco. not only did you use two of my least favorite characters in the entire Tales series, but you used them in the weirdest scenario ever. i’m so disturbed i want to... forget all of that... lol.

The soundtrack is okay, sadly not as standout as Zestiria’s but I expected that. :/ There are still a few amazing tracks though that I have listened to by themselves a lot; specifically Eizen’s theme, Rokurou’s theme, Shigure’s theme, all variations of Velvet’s theme (”True Will” is just UGH), Oscar’s theme okay so all the character themes lol, the Hellewes song I think, the song that plays in Palimedes Temple, “Time to Relax” (Titania Prison’s softer and more homey theme song), “The Last Word” (</3), the credits song, and the epilogue cutscene song ughhhh (my favorite).

Really wish there were more anime cutscenes. Feels like there were a few at the beginning and then..... literally none until almost the very end of the game; kinda disappointing.

I was really concerned when I first was told by somebody that most of the dialogue in the game is told through mandatory skits, but in the end it didn’t bother me as much as I expected it to. Still, I think they were overused a bit too much; I get that it’s easier but there’s only a limited number of expressions that the sprites can show, no matter how much movement they’re given, and the models can get across emotions specific to a certain situation much better, so I wish they would have utilized them more just for talking.

Voice acting is amazing, as usual. Cristina Vee did an INCREDIBLE job as Velvet, just wow, and I was also really impressed with Ray Chase as Artorius ughhh, so good. <3

I love Velvet’s outfit; no shame, sorry. also Eizen without his jacket is mmmmMMMMM

Berseria has really good writing, storywise. The plot is well-conceived and I love the themes behind it, the focus on the importance of family, and where it eventually leads to in the end. Lot of emotion with Velvet’s story with Phi, Laphicet, Artorius, (and Celica/Seres), and it really hits hard ugh. </3 So I really respect the game for the main underlying plot, the message it was trying to get across, how hopeful it is despite how frankly depressing the entirety of the game is, and for the parts that it did well, because those parts are incredible.

but

I’m sorry but there is a big but

My biggest problem with Berseria stems from the fact that aside from Velvet, Phi, and Eleanor, everyone else is... rather flat. Sort of related to that (but not entirely) is the fact that despite me liking almost everyone in the party to varying degrees, they honestly didn’t feel that close? I was told this game had a huge found family aspect to it, which is what I always expect and want from Tales, and I was especially anticipating it in this game with Velvet’s initial setup, and how excellently (and emotionally) that prologue was handled. But although by the end of the game, they do feel closer to each other in some ways, it takes an insane amount of time to get there, and even then, it’s not that strong except in certain skits. For a lot of the game it feels like half of the characters in this party have absolutely no reason to be traveling with this group, and although that can happen in Tales, usually by the middle of the game, and especially at the end, you know they definitely belong with the group, in your heart. But I just wasn’t feeling that here, and it doesn’t help that Rokurou is constantly rubbing in my face that he’s only here to repay his “debt”, and Magilou constantly reminding us that she absolutely couldn’t care less about anything we’re doing, making the feeling even worse. Eizen, too, has this issue, even though eventually he has a unbearably tragic motivating reason to follow them, but again, it comes so late. ...Ironically, I felt more of a found family vibe in the side characters and the party than I did within the party itself (Kamoana, (with Eleanor and Medissa), Dyle, Kurogane (with Rokurou), Percieval (with Phi kinda), and although I wholeheartedly enjoyed every moment of that... I also wanted it in the party more. And like I said, it is there SOME, and the moments that do happen are so sweet... but I just wanted and expected so much more from their dynamic. And the relationships within the party that exist as much as they do are split up into specific pairs and trios, which are Rokurou&Eizen, Rokurou&Phi&Eizen, Eleanor&Phi, Eleanor&Velvet, and of course, Velvet&Phi, and the latter vastly overwhelms the others by an enormous margin. Give me different match-ups; give me Velvet and Eizen having quiet talks as the group parents and two broken people who know what it’s like to lose, know what it’s like to care about family, and can relate to one another (the dialogue where she talks to him before the final battle and worries about his condition with the malevolence was just everything I ever wanted), give me Eizen and Eleanor, because she is so kind and changes so much throughout the game and so would be (and is) sympathetic towards him, like she is towards Rokurou, give me more blatant Eizen and Phi brotherly stuff okay just everyone with Eizen, give me more Velvet and Rokurou because I honestly adored their interactions in the very begnning, give me Phi trying to talk to Magilou and forcing her to break out of her comedic farce personality to try to find out why she is the way she is, just... give me more, game. ugh.

Getting back to how I said everyone who isn’t Velvet/Phi/Eleanor is pretty flat. Berseria has this weird thing about... no flashbacks being allowed, ever, unless they’re related to Velvet’s story and the immediate characters related to her. Honestly, if I had to summarize it, that’s what I’d say: this game is too Velvet-centric. Which, I mean, she’s a great character! And her story is amazing! ...But I play Tales for the entire party, and so the entire party should get focus as well, and the connections between them and the protagonist(s) should be balanced evenly. That’s not the case here. Soooooo many characters could use more depth in this game (sometimes even depth at all...), but the game chooses to adopt a “tell not show” method of giving it to them, and often far, far too late in the game, with absolutely no build-up to it, which... fails. Really hard; worse in some places than others. Older Tales games have a slew of side quests that do nothing but give further development to party members and side characters, but in Berseria, there’s only one side quest for each party member plus an important side character, and none of them have flashbacks at all if they involve a backstory. Party-wise, Rokurou and Magilou suffer the worst from this. I love Rokurou as a person, but honestly? I couldn’t tell you why I love him. He’s cool, and that’s about it. His story with his clan is so confusing because it’s barely expanded on at all, and the emotion that should be there with him and Shigure just... isn’t, because Rokurou himself isn’t emotional about it at all, so how can we feel anything? We just get a bunch of cryptic statements from him that we’re supposed to accept, and move on, just as the party moves on from it, confusedly. Shigure’s death made me feel a little because the scene itself was executed ha ha well, but it could have made me feel so much more. And then after that we get some info about their mom, which is all told to us in dialogue and nothing shown at all, and then it’s over. Magilou suffers from this even WORSE... like, I’m sorry, but I really just don’t care for Magilou. At all. I tried! I really did! And by the end of the game, I had gone from straight-up disliking her to just being neutral about her, at least! ....But the game literally just gave me zero reason to care about her, ever. She is nothing but the comic relief character for most of the game, her only role being to rudely butt in on the end of important conversations to add her own two cents (which usually amount to “haha look how much I don’t give a crap about any of this”) and messing with Phi. When they finally do start trying to show a darker side to her, when Melchior starts torturing her and taunting her, and then later when she asks Velvet what it feels like to hate, I... just can’t bring myself to care/try to figure out wth is going on? Because there’s been no build-up to it. She stays stagnant throughout the entirety of the game, unlike typical Tales characters of her type that are broken from their pasts and use cheerfulness to cover it up, that gradually show signs of becoming closer to the party throughout the game until there’s usually a Big Moment(tm) where they have to decide what they’re going to choose (see: Alvin, Zelos, Dezel, Jade minus the big moment, Raven, etc etc). The first scene I mentioned should be Magilou’s Big Moment(tm), but it doesn’t work because we’re suddenly getting this backstory hastily shoved in our faces all of a sudden, with absolutely no hints of it beforehand and thus no emotion at all from the scene. Instead it’s just confusing, not unlike Rokurou’s scenes I mentioned. Her backstory is cryptically shoved into side quest npc dialogue that you’ll absolutely miss if you’re not looking for it instead of in the main game, where it should be, and even what you get is barely anything, with no flashbacks to give you that emotion you really need for her. Magilou treats it casually, so, I treated it casually too. It’s not important to her, or the game, so I couldn’t care either. When she verbally takes down Melchior in Merchio later, I cheered, but that was literally the strongest emotions I ever felt towards her, and it didn’t have nearly the amount of oomph it should have because of everything I stated. Just. Why did they not handle her better; it makes me so sad, because she could have been AMAZING. I’ve never felt like a character belongs less in a Tales party than Magilou, tbh; she stood out so much and I just kept asking “why are you still here, again?”, and the party basically asks the same thing lol. Bienfu felt like he belonged more than she did... >.> Eizen in particular wounds me deeply because we’re already predisposed to care about him so much because of Zestiria (and lbr, Bamco knows everyone who is playing this has played Zestiria, so there’s no excuse), and so I so desperately wanted flashbacks of him and Edna. I can’t even begin to describe how much I wanted them *sobs* and the skits where he talks about her were perfect and beautiful and made my heart soar and yet break into a thousand pieces, but... I wanted them to go further with it. I wanted to see him get more emotional, and I understand that the way he is is just his personality, but like... this character is so crucial to one of the mains in Zestiria, and we love Edna and we know how important Eizen was to her, so I just wanted the game to treat him with so much more love because Zestiria frankly handled that subplot so terribly. *sighs* That being said, though, his relationship with Zaveid in Berseria is by far one of THE best done parts of the game (more on Zaveid later)... and the Aifread subplot literally destroyed me. Just. Destroyed. Yet another example of flashbacks I wanted, with the two of them (BAMCO I WOULD LITERALLY PAY YOU SO MUCH TO SEE AIFREAD AND BBY!EIZEN, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD PAY *sobs*), but even still, it was done pretty well compared to other things, and I’m still crying over it. ;________; </3 <3 ...In the end, though, although I do really like Eizen (his nerd rambling speeches were just b l e s s, and the black humor with his curse omg poor baby; and of course HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PIRATES WHICH IS THE BEST FAMILY IN THE GAME TBQH *tears*), I didn’t adore him as much as I assumed I would, and that sucks. :/ Eleanor is an amazing character, 10/10, and it’s kind of baffling how much focus she gets over the three mentioned above. Her side quest about her mother once again gets the obnoxious “tell not show” treatment, but it’s alleviated by the fact that she’s had so much development in the main story so it’s not as huge of a letdown (did I mention that regulating backstories to side quests, and not even well-executed ones, is a huge problem? :))) ). She’s so sweet and pure and I honestly just adore here ugh <3 unexpected favorite. Other characters in the game who suffer from the problem of not having flashbacks dedicated to them but then the game trying to make us care about them too late are again Shigure, Melchior only in the sense of in relation to his past with Magilou, and most importantly Teresa and Oscar. I love Oscar for shallow reasons, but neither of them are well-fleshed out, only getting a handful of backstory lines thrown in by Teresa right before her death and after Oscar’s, again, just telling it to us. Their relationship honestly creeped me out throughout the game, Teresa treating Oscar reallllllllly obsessively, but if we had gotten their past way ahead of time, we could understand them better even if she is still a bitch. Sadly, that’s not how it’s handled, and it’s a shame. Like I said, I sobbed got upset at Oscar’s death, but there was no justification for getting upset at all, really. Other than them, Artorius I would have liked to have gotten more scenes. His flashbacks near the end of the game were done beautifully (as was that entire segment period), but I wished that it didn’t take me that long to really feel for him, with how three-dimensional he was set up in the prologue. for those who have read the manga Akatsuki no Yona, I was expecting a Soo-won/Hak/Yona(/Il) vibe from the Artorius/Velvet/Laphicet trio because of how similar the setups were, kinda, and that wasn’t quite what I got, unfortunately More scenes on the legate side of things earlier in the game would have done him and the others a world of good, essentially. Also wished that he and Velvet had a little more to say to each other in the end, but that’s a nitpick really.

Tying in talk of Velvet’s character arc with something else: Berseria’s pacing. This game is oddly paced, if I’m being honest. I can pick out about probably ten specific big events that I remember, and everything else is rather foggy, for having just recently played it. The prologue and Velvet breaking out of prison starts the game off extremely strong, and then it feels like it hits a lull until the first confrontation with Artorius... and then there is a lonnnnnng lull until Innominat’s first appearance... and then suddenly everything is happening with absolutely no breaks until the end. Velvet’s character development matches this, as well; she stays pretty much the same for most of the game, with occasional flashes of ptsd (which are done perfectly, by the way) until Innominat’s reveal, and then her subsequent massive mental breakdown and rising up again to become someone who is still going to get revenge, but now she knows why she is, and why she needs to, and she’s happier for it. She’s definitely my favorite character in the game, and one of the best Tales protagonists out there imo, but I wish her development was more evenly distributed throughout the game, instead of nothing and then this HUGE moment where she honestly completely and utterly breaks down and shows how she truly feels and has felt about what happened to her, and then it sort of goes back to how it was before, albeit not entirely. That is the high point of the game, the best part of the game, for so many reasons, which is why I keep mentioning it; it’s done so well, and I don’t feel like anything after it even comes close to matching it, and I wish some parts did. Still love her, but her arc could have been better paced imo, and the flow of events in general (all the deaths that happen one after the other in the last fourth of the game (minus Artorius and Innominat) feel even more rushed because of the problems I stated earlier, and also this).

Phi’s a perfect pure angel cinnamon roll, his arc is amazing, and his relationship with Velvet is so touching; nothing else needs to be said. :’) <3 Although I will say I loved that he stood up to her about his identity; major props for them doing that, because it really needed to be said.

One last thing to end this on a positive note because I’ve spewed so much negativity ugh, and that is: I absolutely cannot even begin to describe how happy I am at all of the references to Tales of Zestiria in this game. Zestiria is one of my favorite Tales; it has major writing flaws, but I love almost all of the characters dearly, and even though some of them too could use some more depth, the party’s dynamic in that game is just done so well and makes me feel so good, gives me that warm Tales vibe that I just love so much (I won’t talk specifically about why I love Zestiria in this post lol, but basically what it comes down to is that it has heart, even though it has so many problems, and I respect it and love it for that, even though I acknowledge that it’s not that great). So when I heard that Berseria was a prequel to Zestiria, I was ecstatic. And it delivered to me, as a Zesty fan. Berseria may be a really long time before Zestiria, but all of the references, of which there are SO MANY, in npc dialogues and terminology and specific in-game events, are treated with so much care, obviously added in so purposefully and logically thought about how things that are considered normal in Zestiria’s time would be not quite developed all the way or have entirely different names in Berseria, and I just... I love that so much??? I loved standing in a town and getting a strange sense of deja vu, I was screaming when malevolence was mentioned and the truth about “daemonblight” was revealed, I was screaming about Edna and Eizen of course, I was screaming at “Artorius’ Throne” of course, I was screaming at Zaveid of course, I was screaming when the Shepherd was mentioned, when the Lord of Calamity was mentioned, and how they’re flip-flopped in roles from Zestiria (!!!!!), when the imperfect ARMATUS was introduced, oh my god, and when Phi became Maotelus at the end I was in tears, and got chills. Just... Zestiria didn’t do so well with its lore, and even though at the end of the day, Berseria’s existence can’t magically make Zestiria’s story writing and character writing better, it did add something to it, something special, something beautiful, something poignant, and for that, I am so happy. Zaveid in particular I have no words for; he was the single character I never have cared about in Zestiria, with how rude he is about a certain traumatic incident that happens right before he forcefully shoves himself into the party, and overall his type is just one I don’t care for. Then Berseria happened, and I adore him in Berseria. It honestly weirds me out and haunts me to realize and admit, but yes, he’s one of my favorite characters in this game, and by far one of the best written ones, and to see how different he is in this game compared to the other is just surreal, and chilling, and sad, and to play Zestiria from here on out knowing how and why he eventually becomes the way he does, after seeing how his beliefs used to be and seeing what he lost, and what his relationship with Eizen was like? I’m so upset, and fucked up, good GOD. ;______; All in all, I love Berseria purely because it made me love Zestiria even more, and whenever I play Zestiria from here on out I’ll never look at it the same way again, especially when Sorey sleeps with Maotelus in the end. </3 <3 and Zestiria the X and whatever the hell it was trying to do can go fuck itself lol >_______> Instead, can we just have something where Sorey learns all about the first Lord of Calamity and her gang from Zaveid? *cries* and about how Eizen was with them? BETTER YET, CAN WE HAVE MAOTELUS!PHI JUST TELLING SOREY EVERYTHING AND SOREY GETS SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT BECAUSE HE’S HIM; MY HEART

The ending. What the fuck, Bamco. My heart is in pieces, and then also you just... do that with the credits.... seriously WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SATAN IDEA IS THAT

Despite all of my criticisms, which I promise I give out of love because I love this series so much, Berseria is still a really really good Tales. I don’t think it’s as godly as everyone is hyping it up to be, and definitely not Abyss tier (I don’t think the Tales series will ever create another Abyss, honestly, as sad as I am to say it) like some are saying, but still, it’s up there. I wish the party’s development and dynamic was handled better, and I wish the game wasn’t so damn insistent on never using flashbacks, and me not being attached to the party is why I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would, but the writing is very solid, and the parts that Berseria does well are godly. I’d probably give it a 7/10; it gave me a lot of feels though I wish more and now I’m just really depressed about everything. :’)))) and I can write fic about the characters I wanted more depth for if no one else will Final character ranking in terms of favorites would probably be Zaveid > Velvet > Phi > Eleanor > Rokurou > Eizen > Magilou

[spudmcloughlin]

14, 20, 33 & 36 for "talk about" thing (◠﹏◠✿)

14: Talk about a vacation

Oh boy here we go. So we just got back from a vacation but I’d hardly call it a “vacation” cos the only one that enjoyed it was my dad and my mom and aunt made it more stressful than it should’ve been. That being said...

So we pack up the truck and drive for 4 HOURS just to get out of Florida. It’s fuckin huge and if you really tried you could probably make a trip from Tallahassee to Miami a solid 10 hours. We go up through Georgia and into Tennessee (and the whole time I’m counting the different license plates I see), and we stopped for the night at Athena Inn. Boy was that a fuckin mistake. The room was nice and the shower was fucking BOMB and there was a circle K right next to the motel where I got a Cherry Garcia but that’s about where the benefits stop. We got there at like 10:30 and settled into the room at 11 but what we didn’t realise was that there was a club next door. I was just too tired and fell asleep really fast but my mom apparently couldn’t get to sleep all night because of the people going back and forth from the club on the street and of course our room faces the street. So the inn itself was ok but it could’ve picked somewhere better to be. So then we drive another million hours the next day and stop in Cincinnati in the prettiest Embassy Suites I’ve ever seen. We went to dinner at this Firehouse Grill where we had like the best waitress ever and we kept seeing this other waiter just all grumpy and mad about something he looked like he wanted to burn the place down. That didn’t happen and I had the best chili ever. Not really but it was good chili. So then the next day WE GO TO KINGS FUCKING ISLAND. Of course my dad and sister and I went immediately to hit the Beast but it was closed so we hit the Diamondback and Mystic Timbers and THEN went on the Beast. My sister was near tears in the line but when we got off she begged us to go again. So we spent the day there and like halfway through the day we went on the log flume in Planet Snoopy which was a bad idea because for the rest of the day I walked around in soggy socks and tennis shoes. #worthit

We crashed at the hotel again and I took some of their conditioner the next morning before we left and we drove another couple hours to Tappan Lake because apparently Kings Island WASN’T the main part of the vacation. Dammit. My aunt and uncle have an RV in this trailer park in Literally Nowhere, OH so we camped in that for a week and a half. Oh and there was ZERO cell service. We did get out though, we ate at restaurants more than we ate at the RV. Father’s Day was on my grandpa’s birthday this year and since he just passed we all got together with all of the family at Tuscora Park. I saw cousins I didn’t even know I had. So I thought it was gonna be all about grandpa but nah we just kinda did our own thing. I went on this shitty roller coaster that probably could’ve broken my back if I went on it a few more times. Then the Shoe Incident.

My sister was playing with my little cousin Vivian and somehow Vivi’s shoe ends up on top of the pavilion we set everything up under. Since my sister and I are the tallest ones there probably, WE had to get it. I climb up and sit on my sister’s shoulders but I couldn’t reach it. My uncle gets an extension cord and tries to lasso it from a distance, then gives it to me to try to lasso it from up close. Nope. THEN AUNT LORI COMES BACK FROM HER CAR WITH A METAL DETECTOR. I get up on my sister’s shoulders yet again with the metal detector in my hand and I scrape the top of the roof with it and at this point my entire family has stopped whatever they were doing to watch us. I still couldn’t reach it so I tell my sister to get up onto the concrete foundation making us 2 inches taller. Let me repeat that. MY 10-YEAR-OLD SISTER STEPPED UP ONTO A 2-INCH HIGH CONCRETE FOUNDATION WHILE I WAS SITTING ON HER SHOULDERS AND HAD BEEN FOR PROBABLY A TOTAL OF 5 MINUTES. THAT BITCH MAY BE REAL ANNOYING BUT I WILL NEVER DENY HER STRENGTH. I scrape the top of the roof again and my mom yells that I got it, so I just keep doing the same motion over and over until FINALLY Vivian’s blue flip flop falls down onto the ground. You’re probably reading this and sarcastically saying “Oh sure and then everyone clapped” AND YOU WOULD BE RIGHT BITCH MY ENTIRE FAMILY CHEERED FOR US BECAUSE WE GOT THE FLIP FLOP DOWN. And after that people started leaving and then my parents took me and all my siblings to my aunt Kathy’s house where we crashed for the night and ate all of her cookies (which were fucking amazing and she gave me the recipe for them bitchhhhhh). After that it was kind of a blur, I FORGOT TO SAY the aunt and uncle that own the RV also have a houseboat which my sisters and brother and I all stayed on for like 3 days and we were on the lake the whole time and when I went back to the RV it all felt super wobbly but bitch I got to swim in a deep-ass lake so it was worth it

When we left on Friday we went to North Carolina so my sister could see her internet girlfriend like bitch I should’ve been first wait your turn. She was super cute and kind of goals and we all went out to dinner together and my sister spent the night at her house while we all went to another Embassy Suites get rekt bitch. This one had a fucking RIVER RUNNING THROUGH IT. There was a big rock fountain and a ton of koi and a bridge and everything it was beautiful. We only stayed for a night though but whatever but then we went to Savannah, GA and walked around downtown which was cool bc there were street performers and painters and tons of people and it felt really lively. We went to a restaurant for dinner (go figure) and then got back to whatever hotel we stayed in and idk what we did really but then the next day we came back home and it felt really weird and I’m still adjusting to not having to walk down the street to use the bathroom and not having to press the button 80 times in the shower for the water to come on like I did at the RV park. Anyway yeah despite everything we did it was kinda sucky but if we were in a hotel the whole time instead of Literally Nowhere it would’ve been bomb. So that was my Ohio “vacation”.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school

Last year was my freshman year so I don’t have much but I made some of the best and the worst friends ever. I had an amazing geometry teacher and he made me really love that class, I had a friend that moved schools halfway through the year so that kinda sucked, I took college classes (I still am over summer ughhhh), I was on the swim team, I passed out (not in school) when it was hot, I had a huge hoodie on, I hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day, and I stood up real fast. I was at the swim club waiting for my sister’s practice to finish when I got up to get water and as I was going up the boardwalk stairs I felt lightheaded and my vision started to go, then the next thing I knew I couldn’t see anything and I felt something hit my leg (which was really me falling on the boardwalk). Then when I opened my eyes I had like 5 moms surrounding me asking if I was okay and what happened and do I need water and of course that stressed me the fuck out because I didn’t know what happened and I didn’t see my mom hovering above me like a vulture like everyone else was so I started crying. Then my mom finally came over and took me inside and the coach at the club got me a bag of ice and a Coke and I just kinda sat there for the rest of the time while my sister swam. Also side note I was carrying my phone when I passed out and when I looked over it flew out of my hand and it was by the door like what if some bitch took it while I was laying there unconscious for 3 seconds. So that was kind of the highlight of my year. OH also someone at school died of bone cancer on a Friday and then over the weekend a senior committed suicide so that was really fucking sad but then on either Monday or Tuesday there were  tons of sticky notes all over the lockers and around the school saying things like “you matter” and “you are loved” and that kind of thing and it was really sweet.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad

If I’m really upset about something, I’ll usually lay on my bed and cry for a bit. I don’t do anything to stop being sad I just let it happen. If I’m just feeling down for seemingly no reason, I leave my room, go downstairs, get water, do something that gets me out of my room and I would say I would take a walk but I really don’t. And sometimes I watch youtube because Shane’s giant cake videos are incredibly stupid and I love them

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures

Laying on my bed all day watching youtube or listening to music, not doing anything or getting up at all for any reason. Most likely it’s on a rainy gloomy day. Also baking. I can’t go a week without baking which was another reason the vacation kinda sucked.

Thank you for asking!!!

Talk about...

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x10 recap

(Aka the one where Patterson suffers more than she ever deserves to, and the team begrudgingly adopts Roman)

So, here I am, back by... well, vague demand... to provide you guys with another overly long and rambly recap. It seems that, regardless of what this show does, I will inevitably have a lot of thoughts and opinions about it-- and surprisingly there's some of you who are actually willing to suffer through reading them haha.

So I hope everyone had a nice hiatus/holiday period, and here goes. 

Okay. Shit. I have to say that this show totally got me here with the whole Borden vs Patterson pistol duel. I was convinced that Borden would be the one who was shot, because who the hell would dare harm our precious Patterson?? The writers, apparently. (Sadists, the lot of them). Also to Borden's credit, he does sound genuinely horrified when he realises he’s shot her, and I do really still believe that he truly cared about her. But sigh, way to sink my ship, show. And then ugh my lil baby slumping against the wall and being all “don’t touch me!” and ugh this is the worsstttt

Ok where did Jane spring this fancy-ass car from? Isn't the usual method to go for something old and nondescript that can be hot-wired, rather than something that probably has like inbuilt GPS or something? But ugh anyway poor Roman looks like a freaking mess. But come on, Jane, bringing him in on your own is a terrible idea. The moment he wakes he'll be like a frightened and cornered animal and just lash out. Aaaaand yep, there he goes, with the head-smashing and the almost-shooting. And then he literally goes, tossing himself out of the car. That was kinda cool, tbh. But sigh, Jane honey, mistrust is practically a part of his DNA, of course he's gonna flip out rn. I feel so sad for her though, she's literally always just trying to help and yet only ends up getting beaten and battered because of it (either physically or emotionally) and then abandoned. Ughhhhhh. 

Naw Readey baby. I'm so glad you're okay. And apparently enjoying the morphine buzz lol. And aww Zapata has been there watching over him and ugh this friendship is everything

Interesting that when Nas recaps the mission and the explosion to Weller, she doesn't mention that Reade suggested aborting when they lost a cell signal and she was the one decided to press on. Honestly rn I can't tell if her guilt over the dead agents is genuine or she's more upset that Shepherd both outsmarted her and got away. But of course Weller reassures her, because he supports his team no matter what. I just wish he hadn't placed his loyalty in her. Also I know Archie is a fantastic actress but I literally cannot stand the slow, pausing, breathy way she makes Nas speak. It just sounds so stilted and makes it difficult to actually focus on the scene. But I'm sure gonna try and focus because Weller has finally pulled his head out of his butt and is actually making protecting Jane a priority. (Hallelujah). Then he tells Nas they need to find her and she's all "I'm not hopeful"-- and yeah, I bet you're not, lady. You're probably hoping Jane DID die, so there's no one around to stop you manipulating Weller. But ugh the tears in Weller's voice... finally, boy, you're realising just how much you cannot lose Jane. And just bc I’m feeling magnanimous, here's a hint for that thick skull-- it's because you LOVE her, you idiot. Gawd. Anyway, Zapata is once again being cast in to the role of Team Anti-Jane, which is kinda freaking repetitive and annoying, but hey, the writers need to put other characters in opposition to Jane just to make Weller's support of her stand out all the stronger, making us ~love how he fights for her~ so we forget all the times this season he was a complete ass towards her. Like don't get me wrong, I love Jeller, and I actually also look forward to the moment that Zapata and Jane come through this with an even stronger friendship, because that's undoubtedly (or at least hopefully) what this is eventually leading to. But sigh, even though I can somewhat justify Zapata's behaviour as a result of her fear and trauma over the explosion and Reade's injury, I just wish her attitude towards Jane could be a little more nuanced and complex than the current GRRRR JANE'S THE VILLAIN HERE GRRRRR. And Nas doesn't bloody help by planting the suggestion that if Jane returns, it could just be to continue spying on them. Thanks, devil-lady. Next time I'll ask if I want your input. But aaaaaaaanyway, I'm gonna move on from that and instead cry a lil bit over "Jane was-- Jane is loyal." Oh, son. Took you long enough, you giant idiot. She just had to almost die for you to get there. And then ugh next thing we know Jane's being dragged into the bullpen and ughhhhhh "Please I just need to see if they're okay" aND UGH SHE LOVES THIS TEAM SO MUCH IT HURTS ME, she loves them even despite how poorly they've treated her lately (yes, they had ~some~ reasons, but seriously). And then ughhhhh Weller is charging over there like an enraged bull and I love that for a moment Jane doesn't know if he's angry at the guards or her but then he demands the cuffs to be taken off her and ughhhh she has a second of relief before she's apologizing over and over and desperately telling him that she didn't know-- bc lbr, from her past experience she would totally expect to be blamed for this, and she's not wrong (lookin' at you, Zapata and Nas). And then Weller PULLS HER IN FOR A HUG and she's all ??????? because whaaaat? Affection and reassurance?? What are these strange things?? But ugh the way her eyes close and she sinks into him for a second ughhhh I JUST WANT JANE TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AT ALL TIMES PLEASE. THIS IS ALL I WANT. But lol he tells her that they understand and there's a little camera cut to both Nas and Zapata who are very dubious as to whether they do understand and sigh I can practically read the rest of the season's theme in just this few seconds of footage. But anyway then ugh there’s Jane's distress when she sees that not all the team is there-- the terror that they might have been hurt and just ughhhhhhhhhh. Also thanks for that totally wooden-sounding line about Reade's surgery, Zapata. I’ve decided I'm going to  interpret the stiltedness of Audrey's normally flawless delivery as her not approving of her own character's attitude lol. But anyway Jane drops the Borden bombshell (naww, she says "he doesn't work for us", because she's on their side and always has been and ughhhhh) but anyway everyone has a collective "oh shit" moment as they realise Patterson and Borden are both AWOL. And then Jane brings up Roman and then has to explain what happened to her (that's right, guys, Shepherd planned to make her watch you die because she knew that YOU ARE ALL* (*minus Nas) JANE'S FAMILY AND LOSING YOU WOULD DESTROY HER. CAPICHE???  Ugh. But ugh Jane tells them everything Roman saving her and then about zipping him etc. And sighhh Zapata's got her angry pants and Jane-glare on yet again, but again I'm going to put it down to fear for her friend's life because that's the only way I can justify it without getting annoyed by it lol

Aaaaaahhhhh my baby Patterson. Waking up with your wound apparently fixed by the very man who shot you. Interesting that it seems (from the DWB thing) that he was officially trained in general practice/family medicine, and yet can also apparently do the job of a psychiatrist, AND perform surgery. Amazing. Such skills. Also okay I have to say some things bc I have such an issue with this bullet wound. Like people always seem to get shot in the abdomen in movies and shows (even like Jane did at the start of the season), and it's always all "oh it's okay, the bullet missed vital organs" but like uhhhmmm you know what fills up like the entire abdomen?? Bowel. You know what has a ton of blood supply that bleeds like mad, and also contains bacteria that can easily kill you if it gets into your bloodstream? Bowel. Ugh. And don't even get me started on how unsterile this whole environment is. But aaaanyway, it's tv and therefore she's totally fine and dandy rn, even magically managing to pull the IV from her arm with zero bleeding and disconnect the other end from the bag without it immediately gushing all over the floor. Maaaagic. Still, the fact that she's planning on strangling Borden with an IV line is pretty badass haha. Tbh the tubing would probably snap, but whatever. And then aaaaaaahhhh Shepherd is there and Borden tries to bargain for Patterson's life, even though all it achieves is torture rather than death. Welll.... you tried?

Meanwhile the team's still searching for Roman, and Weller comes into the lab where Zapata and Jane are already running a search, standing on opposite sides of the table. Mmm, symbolic. I wonder if they spoke at all?? Did Jane try yet again to explain herself, to beg forgiveness even though her crimes are long since paid for and now she has nothing at all she needs to be forgiven for? Sigh. But anyway, Zapata used her hacky skills to use Patterson's system to track Roman's phone. And finally he answers and is all ??!!!?????!, which is fair, and ugh my little crazy puppy is more like a little lost puppy at the moment. I kinda wish Jane had told him his name was Ian rather than Roman, tbh. But ah well. Then Roman gives very vague directions for where he is (seriously, man, you could be a lot more specific) and ugh he's just such a mess rn. He's actually literally like a puppy, and can’t concentrate on anything but the most basic of needs and sensations. Naw my baby

Ughhhh poor baby Patterson, suffering though both physical pain and emotional heartbreak. I had such high hopes for you two. And then ugh "everything I did was for my late wife" and lol Patterson and I have the exact same reaction: "just what every girl wants to hear" lol. Ugh, my poor baby. Borden truly seems a little unhinged rn, which is so sad. I miss my beautiful sweet cinammon roll of a man. I miss the Borden from our fics, the sweetheart who is as loyal to the team as any of them, who uses his training to help them and his empathy to support them. That Borden is long gone, now. But omg Patterson "Oh I'm sorry. Your side sounds really cool, so you should just go ahead and untie me, because I'm converted" lolll.  That’s my lil sassmaster. And then in the other room Shepherd’s finding out that Roman's been zipped and wow this show is really enjoying these dramatic sharp-closeup camera shots rn lol

Ugh Roman's exchange with the little girl. Slightly disturbing with the whole fork thing (though lbr I'm not a huge fan of kids messing with my stuff either lol) but kind of sweet in a sad way when he asks if he knows her. He's searching for any connection and is so saaaaad. And then all the 'hunters' (haha, get it? Coz they’re hunting him?) come in and wow that's a lot of practically identical looking dudes haha. It's like a camo print and baseball cap convention in here. And he gets the lady and the kid out but there are other customers in this place, what about them? You can see them in the background briefly but there’s never any screaming from terrified bystanders when the shooting starts lol. But ah well, mere details. Thankfully Jeller arrive in time to be part of the shootout, which ends when Roman stabs the guy who's shooting at them in the neck. Which is a lil vicious, maybe, but let's not forget Jane nearly choked a guy to death on her first day out of the bag. These two seriously have both survival instincts and protective instincts up the wazoo. Granted, him more on the former and her more on the latter, but still. 

Ugh and now Roman's cuffed in the interrogation room and Jane is upset about it and Zapata's like "Reade's injured bc of him" which is not entirely unreasonable since Roman WAS the one that got all the explosives and helped set up the trap, so....  but then Nas, in her usual manipulative way, supports Jane-- bc while she agrees Roman is ‘the enemy’, she still wants to use him and she knows a gentle approach is the best way to do that. Wow, snake-lady, Weller sure picked a winner for his rebound. Well done, my idiot son, I’m surprised she hasn’t bitten your head off during sex yet. But anyway speaking of idiots, now they're all telling Jane she has to lie to Roman about zipping him, because even though they vilified her for lying to them (when she did it to try to PROTECT them), they're suddenly fine and dandy with lying when it serves their own purpose. And yes, I can understand their perspective-- Roman might be their only way to save Patterson. But Jane lying to him now is eventually going to destroy anything she builds with him in the future. And my, my, doesn't this all sound familiar?? Then she goes in there and ugh my poor lil puppy is still so lost. And she promises that the team can help him like they helped her and tbh part of me is kinda dubious about that, especially the whole "they helped make me feel full again", given how they've treated her this season...  but at the same time it is also kinda true bc in S1 they gave her a purpose and a 'family', and at least in S2 so far she has still had the purpose part. Plus, she says 'helped', indicating that they weren't solely responsible for making her feel full again. I think a lot of that she did herself, just with assistance from Weller and the team and a little from Oscar and Roman and Oliver and basically anyone that she connected with even briefly. But still, the fact that she lies to someone she loves because the team made her is upsetting to me...

Speaking of upsetting, Shepherd's getting her torture on. Although honestly, as far as torture goes, this is pretty weak. All talk and no action, really. Like yes, a perforated eardrum hurts. But like Shepherd herself says, it does heal. Which was obviously what the writers were aiming for, because it's Patterson, and you can't permanently injure her or disfigure her since she's a series regular. But dude this torture is actually kind of embarrassing. People can perforate their eardrums just from cleaning their ears. Such a minor injury is hardly effective torture. And reinserting the needle in the same ear, trying to get her to suddenly break and talk? Completely pointless. If she was serious about torturing Patterson, she'd take an eye. Or smash her fingers, like she vaguely threatens to do but doesn’t ever get close to doing. Or if she wanted to keep her hands intact (ie, she wanted to use Patterson for her skills later) she could rip off fingernails or toenails. Cut off toes. Slice a bunch of cuts into her body. Break her legs. Poke her in her wound. There are literally so many ways to inflict pain on someone, and the fact that Shepherd supposedly chose this one only is just too ludicrous for me to believe. I mean c’mon, writers. As much as I would have hated seeing Patterson hurt, YOU chose to put her in that position, so you at least do it right...

Awwwww Roman's in the magic lie detector machine and he looks so sad and worried and Jane's there watching over him and ughhhh he just wants to help her and have her approval and ughhh my puppyyyy. Then Nas just ups and leaves partway through and Jane chases after her but Nas just shuts her down, then basically outright says that it's Jane's fault that they can't find Patterson. At least Weller hears that and very obviously dismisses Nas before reassuring Jane, clearly seeing how much she blames herself. And okay it's out of frame but from the way his body moves he definitely seems to put his hand on her upper arm and ugh FINALLY, BOY. FINALLY SUPPORTING HER IN THE WAY SHE DESERVES. And then as he walks off, Jane's left there all overwhelmed bc of guilt/worry over Patterson, the anger from the others, Kurt suddenly being on her side again (she's forgotten what that felt like, I bet), and also the fact that she now lied to Roman for no reason, since he wasn't able to help them find Patterson anyway. Sigh. I wish she had just gone back to the room and told him the truth right then, explained as best she could and apologised. Maybe it would have worked. 

Interesting that Weller sent Nas off like a good minute before he headed to the lab, but they both walked in at the same time. Did they have a conversation outside? Did she linger around the corner and listen in on  what he said to Jane? Or idk whatever lol, it’s tv. And so now we find out that Sandstorm has communicated in some kind of code that they need to crack, and one second Nas is all "oh shucks this is very complicated it might take weeks" and then the next she's suddenly like "wait look at that random book in this miraculously appearing photo, that could be the key to a book cypher!" Like wow, writers. You really didn't put much work into that one, did you? Like I understand there are time constraints involved with an episode but seriously that was just embarrassingly convenient. And then the ridiculous way Nas was all "okay so if we convert this and do that, it just might-- oh it worked!" Oh geez. C’mon. Give us a little credit here. On a brighter note, props to the other Laura (gypsyscarfwoman) who I believe noticed the book a few eps ago and commented on its possible significance given that it's the history of Rome and there's been strong Roman themes (hehe) in this season.      

Oh look who it is, Mr Director Man, my initial fave choice for the mole. Still disappointed about that, though lbr he's still being shady enough that he could still be up to something. Also wow is it midlife crisis time or something bc his haircut looks like that of a teenage boy who’s trying to get in with the 'in crowd' lol. But then he basically tells Nas to piss off and I instantly take back anything bad I ever said about him. Forgive me, Pelly. Your hair looks great and your suit is the most dapper of all. You are the bestest and I thank you for freeing me of Nas She-Demon Kamal and also for rightly ascribing (at least partial) blame to her for the deaths of those agents in the explosion. Now, if only Weller would shut up and stop trying to get her to stay, that would be great. Gotta say, it's really not fun to see him trying to protect her, bc it kinda lessens all the times he did the same for Jane. But whatevvvs, I'm terrific at only seeing what I want to see, so consider the Weller parts of this scene zipped from my memory lol

Great, we're back at the useless torture, and clearly Patterson is as impatient with it as I am lol. And daaaamn she's dropping some truth bombs about the lack of loyalty amongst Shepherd’s followers haha. But seriously if Shepherd lets THAT get to her, she's not the terrifying warlord she was made out to be lol

So they've cracked the code, brought in the chick that owns the garage at the listed location, and now they're making a whole lot of impossible threats (Gitmo? Really Tasha?) before she admits she provided a getaway car to Borden. A car that was fortunately VERY distinctive and able to be picked up on traffic cams. So handy.

Lol Shepherd is still in the midst of a tantrum and decides that Patterson has to die. Well, that was several hours wasted for nothing then haha. Borden convinces her to let him kill her, and I'm stunned to see that he's actually about to go ahead with it. Also shaking my head at the fact that the tourniquet is improperly positioned and not tight enough (though it appears to be wrapped around a fake bit of arm so whatever), and the fact that he inserts the wrong type of needle that shouldn't already be attached to a tube, plus he does it without palpating the vein, and seems to think he needs a whole bag of saline to prove that the vein is patent rather than just a quick 5ml flush. Sigh. But anyhow while he’s farting around, Patterson is doing such a good job of talking him out of it, and he admits that part of him loves her (*wails*). And then when he hears the team’s car he holds her hand for a sec and tells her goodbye and ugh dammit you two. We could have had it aaaaaaalllllll 

And so the cavalry has arrived but run into a bit of a bit of a dilemma of their own, the car flipping when they hit a damn landmine. The most shocking bit of the whole thing, though, is that Zapata jumps straight out from the back and runs to Jane's door, frantically asking if she's okay before calling Weller over to help free her. Is this a weirdly written backflip of her attitude or is this her real regard for Jane breaking through the anger that had been masking it? Personally I hope it's the latter, bc I've always liked to think that Zapata does care about Jane, and needs her, because right now she needs an outlet for all her negative emotions and (unhealthy as it is) she knows Jane will bear it, will be that proverbial punching bag for her because JANE knows she needs it (and knows that it isn't actually about her specifically at all). Hopefully it's a situation that doesn't last much longer as Zapata eventually finds better outlets (and apolgises her ass off to Jane). I just really need Zapata and Jane to be buds again. Sigh. But anyway ugh Weller pulls her out and they're clinging to each other for a sec until she sees Borden bolting for the trees and Weller takes off in pursuit. Really, son? It's like a bear trying to run down a cheetah. But sure, knock yourself out. Meanwhile I'm more excited to see the ladies save their other lady friend and ugh my precious babies. Even if Zapata and Jane are at odds rn, they can agree they both love Patterson and would do anything for her. #TeamBlindspotLadies

So somehow Weller caught up to Borden (I suppose it’s true cheetahs aren't great over long distances) and now they're getting into a punch-up, and while I can believe Borden probably got some martial arts training after joining Sandstorm-- possibly from Remi herself-- I still struggle to believe that he would ever win this fight. I did pause it at a hilarious spot just now though where there's just an upside down foot about to smack into Weller's face haha. And then Borden manages to cuff Weller's hand to his ankle, which is amusing but I definitely call bullshit, because anyone that’s been anywhere near handcuffs would know they would definitely not fit around a grown man's leg, especially not over his trousers. Not a chance. But whatever haha. And then ugh he says that Borden can't shoot him and he's all "not yet" and ugh remember when these two were buds?? Guys that would talk about sports during Weller's sessions but then Borden also always listened when he needed to talk about his dad or Taylor or whatever? I am so sad we lost that. Goddammit writers why couldn't you have just listened to me and made Pellington the mole. I guess I have to be thankful that at least it wasn’t Tasha... 

Noooo Pellington stay away from Roman!!! Stop hurting my baby pupppyyyyyy. Ugh and now there's the tears and the yelling and damn I am impressed with Luke Mitchell rn. He's absolutely killing it this ep. And then aaaaahhhhhh Pellington is gonna send him to the CIA to be tortured just like Jane and okay I take back all the nice things I said about you earlier, getting rid of Nas doesn;t make up for hurting my puppy. But ughhh Weller and Jane stand together against him, and then Weller threatens to quit if Roman is taken away (ugh the way Jane looks at him when he says that, just let me die right now). But I wonder if Weller’s threat is just because he knows Pellington doesn't want to have to find a replacement, or if he's starting to suspect that Pellington might have other reasons-- possibly Sandstormy reasons-- for wanting to keep him in that role??? And then ugh he argues to keep Nas, and while that initially bugged me earlier (I'm sure it's rather clear by now that I'm less than a fan of her, and especially of her thing with Weller), his language actually makes it clear that he wants her back because her needs her knowledge of Sandstorm, and doesn't think he can figure them out and catch them without her. And with that lightbulb moment, I'm back to being just a little less displeased with Weller. Not overly happy with how he's suggesting to use Jane and Roman's connection to get info, but then Pellington is pretty ruthless in his methods so Weller probably has to pretend to be that way too, even if he's planning on doing things differently. But dude, he is so setting himself up to be screwed over, and when that inevitably happens (*cough* when Nas betrays the team *cough*) Jane is the one that's gonna be there, picking his ass up off the ground. Because she loves him, and helping others is just what she does. Also ugh Jane with her hand on Roman's shoulder while he looks down at her... I can't even deal with these two.They are my babies and i love them

Firstly, I love Reade's apartment and I want it. Secondly, hmmm, a patient who had major vascular surgery going home the same day as he had his operation? Yeah, nope. Not ever. But again, tv land, so.... *shrugs*. The teasing Reade and sarcastically caring Zapata is so great until bam! the world's most unwanted kiss bursts awkwardly into the scene. Oh Gero. Gero, Gero, Gero. WHATREUDOIN. I seriously hope that this kiss-- and her reaction to it-- was just a way to get the "will they get together?" question completely out of the way by giving it a resounding no. Although lbr I don't trust the writers not to create a scene later where Zapata comes to Reade and is all "I was too scared to admit it to myself but I know now I'm desperately in love with you, let's ride off into the sunset together". Which would be THE WORST. Honestly like 99% of the time I am like YESSSS GIVE ME ALL THE ROMANCE but this has just never been a romantic ship to me. This has always been two people who love each other because they are BEST FRIENDS, regardless of the fact that they have different sets of genitals. And it's not just bc I want Reade and Sarah to find each other again, or to see Zapata fall for the 'forgetful terrorist' that she currently dislikes so much. It's because Zapata and Reade's friendship has always been one of the most beautiful and powerful parts of the show, and to imply that that kind of connection can only be had if you're also getting naked together... well that just pisses me off, because it cheapens the whole thing. So quit it, Gero. This is a ship that should never sail, okay???  Let's hope Zapata sticks to her guns and Reade realises that they never would have worked and they both just agree to forget it ever happened

Ughhhhh Jane bringing Roman food and reassuring him that it's all only temporary and then giving him the coooooin and ugh their haaaaaands and the "we'll figure it out together" and aaahhhhhhhh save meeeeeee

And then ughhh here's my next favourite brother-sister relationship, with Weller bringing sunflowers to Patterson who is talking adorably loudly and ugh he gets choked up as he gives them to her and he tries to encourage her to rest but lets her show him what she found anyway bc he knows she needs it and so she shows him the article about Borden's death-- or rather, Nigel's death (lol Nigel Thornton just makes me think of Nigel Thornberry. Smashing.) But ooooh that was clever by the writers--- this ep is titled "Nor I, Nigel, AKA leg in iron". Which could be interpreted as Nigel having his leg in irons, aka being trapped. Shackled. Like they're implying Borden was kind of 'chained' to Sandstorm, with no chance for freedom. Also she insults Borden's medical school which upon googling doesn't appear to be a real one, so that makes me wonder if Hardyshire is a name or a brand that one of the writers doesn't like or something haha, and it's their own little in-joke lol. Then she talks about the book code and he asks how she knows and she says “come on, I read the notes" which I do not understand? Which notes? And then Weller FINALLY gives her the phone belonging to the Sandstorm contact (still betting it was Remi) and lol after Patterson splutters about having "all of the questions" they easily decrypt it with the book key. And so they immediately find a video file (is there more on the phone or just that one file?? Will we see more next week?? It occurs to me now that I haven’t watched the promo yet lol). But yeah what is this leopard thing???? I always thought her neck seemed strangely uneven by just having the bird on one side. So I assume they scrapped the leopard tatt, right? Like didn't do it at all rather than it being in invisible ink or something. Which means that maybe Sandstorm thought it was somehow too revealing, like it could tie back to them somehow? Or maybe whatever the tatt was about is no longer an issue? Or something???? (also did you notice how well behaved I was just now and didn't make a single comment on Jane's great butt haha) 

So sandstorm is altering Phase 2 but Weller's role in it is still important. BUT WHAT IS ITTTTTT GERO JUST TELL US

Awwww nooo my baby Roman is having his first mempory, but it's an awful one (statistically, I guess that makes sense, given so much of his life has been awful). But ughhhhh idc if he was a terrorist before I just wanna give him a huggggggg

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #13- FINALE

I gotta say Im SUPERRR upset with myself right now. To be completely honest I feel like I could have won had my laptop not frozen which would have been really nice to have. What is making this worse is knowing I lost because my computer decided to freeze for 1st time ever! 

This is okies though. Once I get to the end I'll just be able to stick to the narrative of things never going my way but I still persevered! 

The silver lining to losing and Cheatham winning is knowing this means Sara goes. I was a little worried that if Cheatham left it keeps AMs options open. Now if he wins its gonna force her hand. I just have to promise her F2 even more and pray it convinces her NOT to do anything crazy

(LATER)

I've done some rethinking- if AnnMarie is in f4 with Sara and Austin I'd like to think it means she is not gonna try and target anyone but them. I should be safe...but I am also interested in seeing if Cheatham legit votes for Austin or not

Yeah so um...Apparently Austin leaked everything that Cheatham told him to AM and Chris yesterday so they added him to an alliance chat. But pretty sure they're also playing semi emotionally rn and not thinking straight. If AM was actually going to potentially idol Austin out before..she knows he's a clear threat. All it takes is Chris/am/cheatham to get together and hash this all out and turn on Austin. Though idk how likely it is Cheatham would do that. He's flat out told me that he knows Austin is the biggest threat yet he seems stuck like glue to him. I mean..so am I...but I don't really have a lot of other options...they all want me out...and there's no way to immunity streak. I really need Austin to stay because I truly believe he'll at least tie at f4 if we have to. Cheatham may not no matter how many times he's told that Am/Chris won't split. Or he'll vote me assuming he's winning final immunity.

I'm thinking about telling Cheatham straight up I am voting him. Its just weird because he seems to already know he is likely going so perhaps AnnMarie has already talked to him, not sure but I do feel bad even if he is voting me out

I feel like I am now sort of in a great spot because I am framing AnnMarie to be the one calling the shots but actually she is coming to me asking what to do O-O. So Operation: Wolfsheep(?) was a success! I told her to see how Sara feels about Austin/Chatham became we have to max our benefits!

(LATER)

Here we go again! Austin and AnnMarie on at the same time so lets get this party started

Hi Friends, its final five! And I wanted to quit the game again! By far the hardest immunity challenge that I've ever done and tbh it pissed me off. I lasted 3 hours and 14 minutes and for what? To fight for my life again bc I might get voted out? It pisses me off. My body is still completely sore. Anyways, My plan for this week is to convince Am to vote out either Chris or Austin, I don't care who, bc they will vote each other out if it means that they get to stay. I made a DAMN good plea to AM and it seems like it might have worked. BUT you never know. If this works out for me, Its just another thing on my resume :)

(LATER)

WELL CHANGE OF PLANS. REWIND. Austin literally just called me and told me how he got added to a F3 with AM and Chris.He told Sara about it so she wants me, him, and her to work together and get out CHRIS. AHHHH CRAZY RIGHT? Like I don't wanna work with them but it is the only thing that will get me through this week. Hopefully it works out. PEACE.

Ahhh! I feel like Dorothy in Oz right now! My yellow brick road is splitting and I don't know which path to followwwww!!! Technically AM could screw things with the idol (which she finally came clean about) but there's pros and cons to all vote options this round... Voting Cheatham this round would likely make it easier for me to win immunity. I also don't fully trust him. HOWEVER, that still leaves AM and Chris in the game together and I'm nearly certain they will vote together next round. Voting Cheatham would also keep a tad of trust with AM and hopefully she and Chris would fire Austin  instead of me. But Austin is also close with Chris. Taking this path would probably leave f3 wide open and if I did somehow end up f3 with Chris/AM, I HAVE to win immunity or I'm ducked. But if that f3 did happen and I won final immunity, I'd have a much easier win than with Austin...but do I even want it easy? That's boring. You can't be the best until you win against the best. And... Voting Chris would break him from AnnMarie and we wouldn't have to worry about them trying to make finals together. Plus, Cheatham would be there next round, so maybe I could get her to vote Cheatham out next round if he isn't immune. Then in a F3 situation, I THINK both Austin/AM would take me instead of each other. But it's also a risk because I'd be leaving AM out of this vote and she may not trust me. Or can #GirlPower prevail? Did any of this make sense? And all of this lit only works if Austin doesn't plan on turning against me. If he does ..then RIP my game all together.

omg i feel im def the one going home . all my flipping and leaking info has finally caught up to me and i cant blame ppl for finding out haha. we will see what happens. tumblr survivor gods please be with me!

3 votes Chris, 2 votes Austin.

WTF?!?! I cant believe I made it past that tribal.  Thank god for sara and cheatham having my back this vote. Idk what's gonna happen next but I gotta try not damn hardest on this immunity or it could be me going home next .

Idk what my end game plan is really.  Idc who I go to the end with I just wanna make it there.  So I gotta convince someone to vote with me so at least if anything it will be a tie and there is a chance for me . It's been a hard game but I have loved every second of it <3

Ughhhh...I know what needs to be done this round but it's soooo hard!! As annoyed as I am with the way Austin tried playing the game, making F2's with idek how many people, he's still like the nicest kid ever and I feel bad. Like bro, you had a good enough social game...you didn't NEED to do that. He literally probably would have gotten by with it too if it wasn't for him leaking AM's idol plans back to her (literally told him he's going to get himself in trouble) and also telling AM Cheatham/I were voting Chris so she should save him to take out Cheatham. Lit, he could have been honest with me and and just voted Cheatham and I wouldn't have cared. But trying to be so sneaky and then blatantly lying to me about it is something. And that is that on that. As far as this F3 goes...I'm nervous. I'd love to win final immunity to ensure a spot in finals but really it's a double edged sword. I won like 4 or 5 individual immunities in my last game and jury apparently dragged me saying that's the only reason I made finals. I knew that was not true and hosts did too, but perception is reality. Also, winning forces me to piss off either AM or Cheatham. I really do not need that. I low-key, strategically brought up a F2 to AM at the last vote just to see if she had one with Chris to decide what last rounds best vote was. If she had one with him, I figured she'd sorta brush off mine. If she didn't, I figured she'd be all for it. Well...she didn't tell me I'm her F2 until AFTER Chris was blindsided, so we know what that means. But now..she may have taken mine seriously and be saltier than the Atlantic if I gave her 3rd. What would ultimately be best is for one of the other 2 to win immunity and convince them to take me with. Unless they already have a f2 together, I think this would be easier with AM as I could use the 'Cheatham was the Thrush underdog' and '#GirlPower' on her. But...she's just not the greatest at comps so I feel that's not an option. Cheatham might be more difficult as I know fo sho he's thirsty for a W. He's literally tried taking me out for whatever reason several times. Why would he target me instead of AM if it wasn't for threat purposes? But if he did win, my argument is gonna be that she auto has Chris' vote and literally ZERO blood on her hands with the jury. What else can I use with him? Maybe peeps like Noah rigging immunity for me at merge so that I'd stay loyal and then backstabbing anyway. Salt. OR Liam asking for a F2 (even tho it was lit during Tribal and too late to save himself) and then voting him out. More salt. Honestly though, idk if anything I say would change his mind...so throwing the comp intentionally is risky...risky af...but it could also be the difference in winning/losing. How about that novel? x)

Hello friends. I've made it again. I was hoping that I could win immunity too but I couldn't. TBH, I don't THINK I'm going home this week. Though I very well could, I just don't see it. The way I'm playing this week is how to get a F3 that will take me to F2. My target this week is Austin. Sara told me a lot of shit about Austin so I think it is pretty obvious that she wants him out. Then there is AM who is very quiet but why would she not vote Austin. Hopefully Austin goes and then boom! I'm in F3 and HAVE to win that immunity.

(LATER)

OKAY this is my ENDGAME plans. Out of the four that are left. I'm hoping that I can take AM to F2. Tbh I feel I can defiantly beat Sara and AM. Sara I feel like just wouldn't take me to the end. Austin, though I feel I can beat, also played a really good game. I'm gonna plead my case to the jury like this. I was a target every single week for pre-merge. Every time, they wanted me out. I somehow managed to bounce back each time. I was unanimously Petrels target come swap/merge and I lasted through that. I gained a lot of peoples trust which was shown in the Captaincy immunity challenge. I was the vote that decided if Rizo was to go or not. And when it came time, I told him that. I tried my best to play an honest game. I was able to get the Idol and had it for 5 rounds without anyone voting it out of me. I was able to get everyone to take out Noah because I saw him as the biggest threat in the game. For Vincents week, I somehow convinced Sara and AM that the whole thing was Vincents idea and he made me believe that I needed to vote out Sara. EVEN AFTER I literally just used an idol to get Sara out. AND convinced Vincent to come BACK to me and vote Sara out .hats pretty badass. On Chris' week, once again I decided who goes home and I picked the right way if that means that I end up in F2. Every week, I had to FIGHT to be there. That is something that I don't think a lot of people had to do. I always came close to winning immunitys, if I didn't win. And proved that I'm not only a strong social player, but also a strong comp competitor.

IM HERE IM HERE IM HERE IM FINALLY HERE!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I CANT BELIEVE IT I REALLY CANT BELIEVE IT OMG. THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND IM SO HAPPY! I never thought I would make it this far into the game, and I'm so excited for the possibility of f3. People are telling me that they're voting Austin, but it's been awfully quiet. I'm scared that the silence is a sign, but I hope that I'm just being paranoid. I'm just happy to be here.

3 votes Austin, 1 vote AnnMarie.

well, here we are, final 3. I guess this is where my game ends. Sara just won immunity and after I plead my case and my feelings are basically crushed. She rubs a little salt in the wound by telling me a move that I messed up on. Vincent wasn't the one who told Sara and AM about the vote switch. It was Austin. It just really frustrating how this game played out. I worked my motherfucking ass off. It seems like I did it for nothing. This is my last org for hopefully a long while and I was hoping I'd get that edit of "Underdog Villain Wins the Season and Leaves the Hateful Community" and I didn't get that edit. I'm not gonna get that edit. I spent the entire first half of this game as the "Other vote" all people wanted to do was blindside me/ get me out. I had a breakdown early on in the game (def wasn't my last one) where I wanted to quit the game. The guy that I was falling in love with broke my heart, my job was chaotic, I was getting SHIT ON on discord, was doing endurance comp after endurance comp and there was no pay off, was failing my classes, was losing friendships, and all I wanted to do was quit. But I didn't and I kept going. I kept playing my ass off and it sucks to be out played. Im a sore. loser. TRUST ME I KNOW. But to come this far and still lose, it fucking sucks, Yes, this is just a game. I get it. Log off, quit, do whatever you need to do to not let it control your life. I can't DO THAT though. I love orgs! This is the kind of stuff that I always wanted to do! I have a lot of stuff to work on within myself. I know. But for right now, all I want to do is win. And I'm almost positive that its not gonna happen. I don't even think that Im gonna get POTS. Just sucks to put so much effort into something with zero pay off. Anyways. I guess I'll see y'all sometime. Much love.                                                                                             - The Villain

Did I just do THAT?!? Force myself to finals!? I know this sounds sappy and cheesy over an online game...but my entire life I've been really underestimated..for multiple reasons, so it feels great to be able to prove myself in any situation. No, I haven't won...but have at least dragged myself as far as you can go in this game. Now it's [semi] out of my hands. But now is the hard part... Who do I take with me!? I literally went to sleep last night wanting to take Cheatham. I woke up this morning wanting to slap myself in the face for thinking that. Now I want to take AM. The perk to taking AM is that I 100% feel that my game was superior. I also 'technically' asked her for a f2, though on my end it was more strategic as mentioned in an earlier confessional. However, I still do not like breaking F2s if avoidable. But she did also tell me she'd have taken Cheatham to finals over me so... And the perk to taking Cheatham is that I feel like he's more deserving of finals and winning (or losing) against him would feel much better than the other option. But is it worth breaking the f2, especially when AM was probably slightly more loyal to me? I know she said my name once too, but Cheatham said it multiple times AND tried to freaking idol me out! Even after all of that I was willing to work with him and saved him a couple rounds...but when is enough, enough??

Wow. I cannot believe I am finally here at the very end. This is so shocking to me. I have never gotten this far before in any game, so I am just so excited. I am so happy that Sara decided to take me with her to the end, but I know for a fact that I have a very small chance of winning this. I really need to get on track and figure out how to talk like a normal human being so I can win over the jury, any way I can. Making that video for right of passage was so pointless (although it was super fun to make). It was not what Sara and Cheatham had done. I really wish I would have done the doc to at least clarify what the hell I actually did in this game. In reality, I truly think I just played for a hell of a good time, and I had a hell of a good time, because it was a hell of a good time. You know what isn't a hell of a good time? Not being at the end with Cheatham. It would have been so fun, and I think it would be a little easier for me to talk. I think that speaking to the jury with Sara will get me a bit nervous. I am not the most articulate person, so going up against Sara concise speaking will ruin meeeee. But I will be extremely happy if Sara wins. She honestly deserves it.

Cheatham becomes the final member of the jury.

[prodigaldaughteralice]

alice liveblogs infinity war

we’re watching infinity war finally and I’m already mad at it or being grimdark

(spoilers I didn’t like it. also there’s some vague SU and PMMM spoilers in here because I ramble.)

like the end of Ragnarok was SO GOOD with the asgardian refugees and then they just fucking kill them all and the whole pre-credits bit was just pointless

also they pretended to kill Loki and that guy is never actually dead but it pissed me off

also I’m sad I’m so sick of Cumberbatch because I really like the idea of having a straight up wizard in your main party of superheroes

I’m glad Banner got to hug the shit outta Tony though

I really like this spider-man! I haven’t seen his movie yet but he has the goofy wisecracking that I loved about the comics as a kid DOWN

IRON MAN SPIDER SUIT?

why does tony stark have a samsung POS for a phone

and the Guardians show up and the mood immediately lightens; I am SO GRATEFUL TO THEM AND OH MAN MANTIS IS HERE I LOVE HER

HI THOR

your last movie was way better than this one

drax has the hugest boner for thor and I do not blame him but I would understand it a little more if he still had his luscious hair

THE FAMILY FUCK UPPERY COMPETITION I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TUMBLR JOKE

“all words are made up”ilu thor

okay who tf is this now in the fancy apartment with a glowy thing in his head am I supposed to know this????? THAT’S FUCKING VISION???????

also is that scarlet witch with him? I should probably point out that I watched Civil War once and I did not pay much attention because it was annoying the shit out of me

yep that’s scarlet witch here come her glowy things

designated girl fight time ughhhh

oH MY GOD STEVE ROGERS SHAVE THAT BEARD OFF RIGHT NOW nat what did you do to your hair did the director decide there could only be one ginger woman

oh I’m glad they got an excuse to reuse those awesome monster designs from the first Avengers flick in this flashback with baby Gamora

okay though I know they probably did it to make him look more like the comics but I cannot take Thanos seriously with that fucking CHIN he is committing hideous atrocities and now I am just annoyed and my immersion is broken

it is so obvious Gamora knows where the last stone is that I genuinely hope the secret is actually something else

...drax. why. stop eating. mantis you have saved me from that terrible joke I love you.

at this point it’s making me genuinely sad that I’ve been spoilered about the dust thing. like. I know he’s gonna get everything? I know he’s gonna ~win~ and oh my god drax fucking stop

THANK YOU MANTIS YOU HAVE RESCUED ME THIS DAY

FUCK YEAH GAMORA ABUSIVE DAD STABBING

oh jesus the blocks of clay/strips of paper effect is freaky as shit

jesus jesus this whole scene is freaking the shit out of me god ugh why there is no genuine point to dragging this scene out it’s just Suffering there are times in my life where I would be okay with it but Ugh

it genuinely took me a few seconds of Weird Romantic Music for me to remember they paired nat and bruce off in that one movie that was some weird shit can we just move on

YOOO IT’S WAKANDA TIME

...that was disappointingly brief

okay there is way too much torture in this movie. that’s the issue. physical emotional et cetera too much torture

I love spider-man though he’s a good boy

strange and tony are both the exact kind of arrogant asshole that you’re supposed to identify with but instead just annoys the shit out of me and spider-man is this scene’s only saving grace 

okay this new philosophy for Thanos since they can’t have him being in love with Death bc that would lead to Deadpool issues... it’s very... Kyuubey.

FUCK NO NEBULA SHIT BABY I LOVE HER AND THIS IS BULLSHIT I’M SO MAD JESUS THIS WHOLE FILM IS ABOUT TORTURE AND I HATE ITjesus jesus nope nope stop nope this is bullshit fuck

thor speaks groot and I am relieved but I miss movies where the default was thor speaking groot and there were only occasional dips into misery

why is thor trying to get a new hammer there was a whole deal in his last film about how he doesn’t need the hammer AND A ROBOT EYE? so they’re just gonna tear apart all the symbols of his character development? whyyyyyyyyy

groot put down your fucking ds

...is that peter dinklage as a giant I kind of love that

I’m glad Nebula pulled herself together I love herrrrrrr

they’re on a planet called Titan!! GAAANEYMEDE AND TITAN, YESSIR I’VE BEEN AROUUUUND... BUT THERE AIN’T NO PLACE IN THE WHOLE OF SPAAAAAACE... LIKE THAT GOOD OLD TITAN TOWN

“you’ll have to restart the forge... awaken the heart of a dying star” okay so it’s a side quest

mantis is bouncing around I love her

did Peter just adopt Peter as an uncle

...is that red fucking skull? like from hydra? why is there a nazi in space

the stone demands a sacrifice UGHHHHH this is DUMB this movie has no idea what genre it is so it’s just taking the superficial cliches from every one it finds

ughhHHHHHH and it’s gonna count her as ~someone he loves~ even though he’s just been a dickwad fucker who’s tortured her her whole life THAT ISN’T LOVE ASSHOLES ughhhhh fucking shit also attempted suicide on screen definitely did not make my night any better fuck this fuck this fuck this movie with a bread knife STOP HAVING DRAMATIC SHOTS OF HIM CRYING THIS IS BULLSHIT.

oh and now he’s floating in the void. on a cloud. in a pond. great. I don’t care.

wait all that and it’s not even the big stone for the back of the hand???? it’s a lil knuckle one???

rhodey just pranked the shit out of bruce and the mood whiplash is killing me

I fucking love shuri okay every second we are in wakanda is a gift and a relief from the rest of the movie

...explosions. of course.

“and get this man a shield” FUCK YES

I would like to interrupt this to point out that my cat is a perfect loaf on the floor and I love him

...suddenly there are monster hordes? where did they even come from? I mean out of the ships obviously but this is fucking stupid

oh my god all the wakandans with their badass ranged spear technology and then bucky is just standing there with a fucking gatling gun

black panther is a badass and I appreciate action sequences when they’re well done but this is not tied together enough for me to be invested I guess?

okay but there is legit zero explanation for why thor isn’t dying in the heat of the star? like. he just Decided Not To Die??? like. I would be fine if he was like “I have expanded my powers since I moved past my hammer, I think I can take it” or whatever but they just decided to have him be like “IT’LL ONLY KILL ME IF I DIE” which is just. dumb. 

ohhhh so they’re resurrecting him with the axe. which is not a thing we ever said the axe could do. okay. okay sure. sure. fine.

groot handle is badass but there’s been so much torture and self harm in this movie that having him whack his own arm off just is not fun even if he regrew it immediately

I’m glad thor is glowing again though.

ughhhhh thanos’s philosophy is so dumb I’m so done with hearing it YES DROP THE BUILDING LAPIS LAZULI THIS SHIT awwww he just got back up again I mean I guess BD did too DID DRAX JUST FUCKING HAMSTRING HIM

don’t you dare call him an insect arachnids aren’t insects ya purple dingus

NEBULAAAAAAAAAAA

they look like they’re gonna succeed but it’s too early in the movie and I want them to succeed right now so this movie will be over but also bc whatever they do to get him out of this will feel dumb

“he is in anguish” I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

DO NOT ENGAGE DO NOT ENGAGE SHIT

ughhhhHHHHHHH. GAMORA WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED YOU TO FUCK OVER THE OPERATION LIKE THIS. GODDAMNIT.

...any tree can drop an apple, he’s gonna drop the freakin’ moon?

BUCKY SPINNING WITH ROCKET IS HILARIOUS I LOVE IT also thor and cap’s moment of banter see THAT is what I like about these movies when they’re done well

scarlet witch is OP as fuck and I love her

designated girl fight x4????? we can mix it up a little okay????

bruce arguing with hulk is somehow relatable???

I love spidey’s robo legs tbh they’re super fun HE CAN’T REMEMBER NAMES FUCKIN RELATABLE

okay yes I still love having a wizard in the party I just wish it wasn’t THIS guy

did you just fucking stab tony that’s bullshit

“spare his life and I will give you the stone” WHY THAT IS A SHITTY DEAL TO MAKE HE’S ALREADY DYING ANYWAY this is a trick, right?

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

vision’s thanos-sense is tingling and I wanna go to bed like screw this

put some fucking sleeves on you big grape flavoured asshole

do we even know why Wanda’s energy is the only one that can destroy the stone? Was that explained and I missed it?

YO SHE BROKE THE THING

“I understand, my child... better than anyone” NO YOU DON’T ASSHOLE YOU KILLED THE PERSON YOU’VE BEEN MANIPULATING AND HARMING HER WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FUCK YOU

...he just undid it with the time powers THAT’S CHEAP AS FUCK ughhhhhhhhh also he just put that narrow oval gem into a nearly circular and much larger setting so fuck that

FUCK YEA THOR ugh this isn’t gonna stick is it ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is that baby gamora UGHHHH “what did it cost?” “everything” I DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING FAUX-SENTIMENTAL YOU SAY

and it’s time for the dusties. I got spoiled this happened but I don’t know who all it happened to

fuck this though

genuinely so pissed STOP TAKING THE BEST ONES NO NOT SPIDEY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCJ YOU FUCL UOI

fuck this entire fucking movie

ughhhhh and I really like the actor who plays Thanos he’s awesome in everything else I’ve seen him in but this entire movie was like. there was no point? they shoved so many people into one place that there were just sidequests instead of a plot. I want to go to bed tbh. Maybe I will be able to articulate my irritation later but UGHHHH.